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Jewish holiday, Purim

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It's Purim tonight, a Jewish holiday. There's a Purim tradition, in which you're encouraged to get so tipsy you can't tell the difference between Haman (bad guy, wanted king Xerxes to kill all Jews) and Mordecai (good guy, figured out how to save them).

 

I'm having my second whiskey and water, but usually I only have one drink per night. I mentioned the tradition to my (German Catholic) wife. She said:

 

"Purim? Pour 'em!" :D

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On 2/28/2018 at 6:55 PM, laripu said:

It's Purim tonight, a Jewish holiday. There's a Purim tradition, in which you're encouraged to get so tipsy you can't tell the difference between Haman (bad guy, wanted king Xerxes to kill all Jews) and Mordecai (good guy, figured out how to save them).

 

I'm having my second whiskey and water, but usually I only have one drink per night. I mentioned the tradition to my (German Catholic) wife. She said:

 

"Purim? Pour 'em!" :D

Sounds like you found a keeper.

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1 hour ago, RaymondMcKigney said:

Sounds like you found a keeper.

 

We've been married nearly 21 years.

 

A comedian on tv told a joke I like: True love is when you would lay down your life for the other person - while all the while wanting to kill them.

 

☺️

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14 hours ago, laripu said:

 

We've been married nearly 21 years.

 

A comedian on tv told a joke I like: True love is when you would lay down your life for the other person - while all the while wanting to kill them.

 

☺️

That once described my feelings about America's L's.

 

Not so much now.

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6 minutes ago, RaymondMcKigney said:

That once described my feelings about America's L's.

 

Not so much now.

 

Respectfully, you're on the liberal forum, and I'm a liberal. Why would you then want to be here?  The abysmal quality of discourse in the NHB area is enough for me to not want to be there.

 

And there are conservative forums out there. I don't post on them but I have a look every few days to make sure they still want to imprison Mueller and blame everything on Barack Obama. Today I find this quote: "It's absolutely time for treason and sedition charges, and hangings." Wouldn't you feel more at home in that environment?

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1 hour ago, laripu said:

 

Respectfully, you're on the liberal forum, and I'm a liberal. Why would you then want to be here?  The abysmal quality of discourse in the NHB area is enough for me to not want to be there.

 

And there are conservative forums out there. I don't post on them but I have a look every few days to make sure they still want to imprison Mueller and blame everything on Barack Obama. Today I find this quote: "It's absolutely time for treason and sedition charges, and hangings." Wouldn't you feel more at home in that environment?

Sorry,  you seemed enlightened enough to see beyond the initial offense. 

 

I was mistaken. 

 

Sorry. 

 

Cya around. 

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4 hours ago, RaymondMcKigney said:

Sorry,  you seemed enlightened enough to see beyond the initial offense. 

 

I was mistaken. 

 

Sorry. 

 

Cya around. 

 

Yup, I don't know what was beyond. It looked like you wanted to kill liberals. Not my brand of bourbon.

 

Don't be sorry, you are what you is. You is what you am. A cow don't make ham.

See ya, wouldn't want to ... etc
 

 

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Is that the same holiday when you party in a hut?  Shake a lemon and a sugar cane to the left and to the right but it doesn't count unless you're facing north?

 

Something like that?    I'm not a real expert on any of the ancient folklore based religions.  I do know that Catholic wedding take way too long.

 

Did you hear the one about the insomniac dyslexic agnostic? 

He stayed awake at night wondering if there really was a dog?

 

 

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On 6/8/2018 at 10:57 PM, GorgeousGeorge said:

Oh boy! Another touchy, feely subject. Sigh!

 

 

You want to see some RWNJ snowflakes really get offended?  Go on a forum they use and post:

 

"Did you ever notice how much a steeple looks just like a giant dunce cap?"    

and then cap it off with a smiling face image like this one...

LonelyAlienatedAsiansmallclawedotter.gif

 

 

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On 6/11/2018 at 3:28 PM, bhoyal said:

Is that the same holiday when you party in a hut?  Shake a lemon and a sugar cane to the left and to the right but it doesn't count unless you're facing north?

 

Something like that?    I'm not a real expert on any of the ancient folklore based religions.  I do know that Catholic wedding take way too long.

 

Different holiday. The "party in a hut" thing is called "Sukkot", and the edifice is a sukkah. Usually made with leaves or branches, not waterproof and always outdoors. My parents made one on the balcony a few times, but being in Montreal it was always too cold to eat there. So they gave up.

 

I think the lemon and sugar cane (or similar) are used in some waving ritual but I don't know what it is. My parents didn't do it.

 

This is the kind of thing I remember from when I was a kid, but with more downed branches, from maple trees.  But I think modern ones are more involved.

 

sukkah_456606_resize_990__1_.jpg

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On 6/11/2018 at 2:28 PM, bhoyal said:

Is that the same holiday when you party in a hut?  Shake a lemon and a sugar cane to the left and to the right but it doesn't count unless you're facing north?

 

Something like that?    I'm not a real expert on any of the ancient folklore based religions.  I do know that Catholic wedding take way too long.

 

Did you hear the one about the insomniac dyslexic agnostic? 

He stayed awake at night wondering if there really was a dog?

 

 

 

 

that is the feast of booths

 

https://www.jewishvoice.org/read/blog/sukkot-the-feast-of-booths-known-to-some-as-the-feast-of-tabernacles

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On 6/11/2018 at 2:28 PM, bhoyal said:

Is that the same holiday when you party in a hut? 

They do everythng in a hat. 

 

A doily.

 

A hat.

 

A doily. 

 

Mashuguna!

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10 hours ago, SPLIB said:

They do everythng in a hat. 

A doily.

A hat.

A doily. 

Mashuguna!

 

I had to look the up the doily part. It holds pretty much only for Jewish Orthodox women, and rarely for Conservative Jews, who would be seen as putting on airs with a doily.

 

So allow me to add some facts here. There are three main branches of Judaism: Orthodox, Conservative and Reform.

 

Orthodox splits into too many sects, from modern Orthodox (in which men merely wear a head covering, but men and women dress in a modern way) to various ultra-Orthodox sects that are like a Jewish version of the Amish. They live like it's 1750. Wear ugly black clothing. That's 10% of American Jews, but they're the most visible.

 

Conservative Jews have nothing to do with political conservatism. They don't necessarily believe in the bible literally. But they follow must traditions because they're traditional. They don't wear head coverings except in synagogue, because there it's traditional. Conservative Jews comprise about 18% of American Jews.

 

The largest sect of American Jews, at 35%, are Reform, that is, even less religious than Conservative Jews.

 

About a quarter of American Jews say they have no religion at all. Atheist, agnostic, other. For them it's about culture and ancestry.

 

That leaves a small group of no denomination, or 'other', or "none of your business, I'm getting my gun".

 

Finally, everybody gets this wrong, even American Jews. I'm a native Yiddish speaker, so here are the facts:

 

Accent on the "shug":

Meshugah = crazy

Meshugener = crazy male

Meshugenah = crazy female

 

Accent on the "gas":

Meshugas = crazy acts or a crazy circumstance

 

And one other thing:

A Swedish metal band with no Jewish members: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meshuggah.

 

A much funnier word is "paskudnyak". Accent on kud. You would use it like this: That DT person is a paskudnyak.

 

It comes from a great Polish word "paskudny", best translated here: https://en.bab.la/dictionary/polish-english/paskudny

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10 hours ago, laripu said:

 

I had to look the up the doily part. It holds pretty much only for Jewish Orthodox women, and rarely for Conservative Jews, who would be seen as putting on airs with a doily.

 

So allow me to add some facts here. There are three main branches of Judaism: Orthodox, Conservative and Reform.

 

Orthodox splits into too many sects, from modern Orthodox (in which men merely wear a head covering, but men and women dress in a modern way) to various ultra-Orthodox sects that are like a Jewish version of the Amish. They live like it's 1750. Wear ugly black clothing. That's 10% of American Jews, but they're the most visible.

 

Conservative Jews have nothing to do with political conservatism. They don't necessarily believe in the bible literally. But they follow must traditions because they're traditional. They don't wear head coverings except in synagogue, because there it's traditional. Conservative Jews comprise about 18% of American Jews.

 

The largest sect of American Jews, at 35%, are Reform, that is, even less religious than Conservative Jews.

 

About a quarter of American Jews say they have no religion at all. Atheist, agnostic, other. For them it's about culture and ancestry.

 

That leaves a small group of no denomination, or 'other', or "none of your business, I'm getting my gun".

 

Finally, everybody gets this wrong, even American Jews. I'm a native Yiddish speaker, so here are the facts:

 

Accent on the "shug":

Meshugah = crazy

Meshugener = crazy male

Meshugenah = crazy female

 

Accent on the "gas":

Meshugas = crazy acts or a crazy circumstance

 

And one other thing:

A Swedish metal band with no Jewish members: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meshuggah.

 

A much funnier word is "paskudnyak". Accent on kud. You would use it like this: That DT person is a paskudnyak.

 

It comes from a great Polish word "paskudny", best translated here: https://en.bab.la/dictionary/polish-english/paskudny

You will learn far more from me about Jews and Jewishness, as your facts are available everywhere, but mine come only from me. Allow me to elucidate.

 

Your people are good with money, but bad with hats. In fact, your are less than one percent of all humanity, yet you have fashioned amongst yourselves the three stupidest hats ever made. 

 

Now, the good with money part, I won't spend time arguing Thats an established fact, making it your department. But the fact that Jews are lousy with hats - this is less widely known (basically, known only to me and the people who can't avoid me). Your history with bad hat-making  involves circumcision, and a guy named Morty, whose wife was named Ethyl. Morty holds the Guinness record for creating the second stupidest hat of all of human history - a  proud, albeit little heralded, Jewish tradition.

 

But first, let's discuss the quaker oats hat. This is the world's THIRD stupidest hat, the hat worn by those Jews with the hygeine issues - they have full, unkempt beards, and just in CASE anyone misses the damned birds nests preceeding their entrance, they have simulated beards in the form of a long, curled strand of hair that hangs under their faces. Back up beards, basically. And that hat? That quaker oats hat? You can grab the brim, give the crown a firm pop with your free hand, and you're holding a frisby. 

 

This group of Jews sends its children to first grade with simulated facial hair and a toy on their heads, and wonders why they need analysis when they grow up. Meshugah, meshugas, meeshuguner, meshugenah.

 

Then there was the circumcision, about which morty opined to his wife, "Well, that was NOT fun, Ethyl. That was NOT fun. But it's over. God is satisfied. No more tricks like he played on poor Abraham (Not to mention poor Isaac, the father of modern I need analysis). No more crazy demands, no more blowing up cities, no more fighting armies of giants - God is happy, the Jewish people are happy - all is well in the world, Ethyl. No more demands from on high. Where's my evening paper?"

 

Ethyl, knowing Morty, broached the next topic breezily - but to no avail. Morty got his neck famously stiff - the old stiff necked Jew routine (your department - no argument offered). "There is one teeny, tiny, thing, Morty. It's a whole bunch of nothing, really. The Rabbi says that God says that you need to wear a hat. All the time." Morty blew his stack. "The doily, Ethyl - give me the doily. GIVE IT, ETHYL!" And Morty put that doily on his head, and with an air of finality and angry defiance, an air of passive aggression, he said, "There ya go, God - it's a hat. It used to be a doily, but now it's  a hat."

 

And that is how the world's SECOND stupidest hat became a thing - a thing that has to be velcroed and/or stapled and/or glued to your stubborn pates. The Jews are a stiff necked people, who should be approached very carefully regarding changes to their headgear. And they are truly bad with hats. 

 

And now, we will address the absolute most ridiculous hat of all time, made also by the Jews, and this is the hat which your people made for Jesus, out of thorns.

 

REALLY, laripu, THORNS? You couldn't come up with some other material - felt, maybe? If you are going to hand-make a gift - and I say this to Jews everywhere; this is not only a message to you, personally, laripu, - if you are going to hand-make a gift, go with your strong suit - not with yet  another ill-fated adventure in Jewish hat-making. You could have given Jesus a menorah - you're good with menorahs. A dradle, maybe - or maybe some sheckles. You guys are literally famous for being good with sheckles.  But no. Yous hadda go with your weakest suit.

 

And I know what you are thinking, my stiff necked friend - I can hear you thinking it: We didn't kill Jesus, the Romans killed Jesus."

 

Let me just say this to that, laripu: You made the fukking hat, my firend. You made the fukking hat. 

 

Jews - you're good with money. You're bad with hats. 

 

 

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wow water cooler topic. 

  the water in the west bank is running out.

  the water in the Gaza is salinated.

  the water of the Golan lake is more polluted.

The Ideas of Israel are also polluted.

as the waters are divided by the Israelis 

so will nature divide the Israelis

even the crops from Israel is contaminated with nitrates.

any healthy being would be a fool to buy Israelis produce.

the land is poisoned like a curse from a prophet.

 

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40 minutes ago, SPLIB said:

Jews - you're good with money. You're bad with hats. 

 

I freely acknowledge this about averages: on average, Jews are good with money and bad with hats.

 

There's a reason why Jews are good with money. It's that for 100 generations, that's 2000 years, European Christians foisted various kinds of persecution upon them that had the effect of making smarter ones much more likely to survive. It had the effect of making Jews good with languages, highly literate, highly numerate, strong in memory, in short, high in IQ.

 

Start with the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem. The old priest-based religion was over and done. In order to survive, it had to change. The way it changed was to make literacy mandatory for both genders, in order to allow traditions to continue to be imparted to coming generations.

 

The men that were best able to read, understand, memorize, and explain, the rabbis, were important people in small Jewish communities. They were supported by the communities, so they could study. They had the most money, the best food and the best choice of brides. Therefore, they had the best chance of having surviving offspring. Genes for logic and strong literacy and memory were selectively passed on.

 

European society barred Jews from most professions. Jews could be itinerant traders, a profession that rewarded numeracy and record-keeping and language ability. (Since itinerant traders might travel through five or six different countries bringing wares from one to another, they had to be able to communicate in multiple languages.)

 

They could also be money lenders (a profession Catholics did not allow themselves, but nevertheless required). That profession also rewarded numeracy and literacy and record-keeping. And a strong understanding of compound interest.

 

In all those ways of making a living, the ones that were most likely to have healthy children (therefore passing on their genes), were the ones that were strongest in those skills: literacy, logic, memory, numeracy, languages, organization of information.

 

Then there were the pogroms, expulsions, false accusations and kangaroo courts. The Jews best able to survive and defend themselves against such persecutions were the smartest ones, the ones best able to understand what was coming and prepare an exit strategy. So Europe Christians selectively killed off the stupidest Jews with much more frequency than the smartest.

 

Now 2000 years later, 100 generations later, this selective persecution has given Jews an advantage in exactly the areas that make them good at mathematics, computing, science, writing of poetry and fiction, and writing of explanatory texts, such as law. This is natural selection at work, but I'd rather call it unconscious selective breeding.

 

Oh, and hats. For two thousand years, being good at hats conferred no survival advantage to Jews. Therefore, such genes didn't get any preference in Jewish reproduction.

 

I leave it as an exercise for the reader to work out why Jews suck at basketball.

 

Thanks for all the hate, Christians!  💓

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I don't think it will TAKE  Semite Palestinians , jewish ,christian or moslem that long as they were smart enough to adapt to all the Herods after Herod. Plus the Palestinians under occupation martial law are VERY good at basketball and other sports. I know if they can compete on a level playing field they will kick your russian DNA butt

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Ideally, sports provide easily understood rules and a level playing field.  Real life is almost never like that.

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23 hours ago, laripu said:

 

I freely acknowledge this about averages: on average, Jews are good with money and bad with hats.

 

There's a reason why Jews are good with money. It's that for 100 generations, that's 2000 years, European Christians foisted various kinds of persecution upon them that had the effect of making smarter ones much more likely to survive. It had the effect of making Jews good with languages, highly literate, highly numerate, strong in memory, in short, high in IQ.

 

Start with the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem. The old priest-based religion was over and done. In order to survive, it had to change. The way it changed was to make literacy mandatory for both genders, in order to allow traditions to continue to be imparted to coming generations.

 

The men that were best able to read, understand, memorize, and explain, the rabbis, were important people in small Jewish communities. They were supported by the communities, so they could study. They had the most money, the best food and the best choice of brides. Therefore, they had the best chance of having surviving offspring. Genes for logic and strong literacy and memory were selectively passed on.

 

European society barred Jews from most professions. Jews could be itinerant traders, a profession that rewarded numeracy and record-keeping and language ability. (Since itinerant traders might travel through five or six different countries bringing wares from one to another, they had to be able to communicate in multiple languages.)

 

They could also be money lenders (a profession Catholics did not allow themselves, but nevertheless required). That profession also rewarded numeracy and literacy and record-keeping. And a strong understanding of compound interest.

 

In all those ways of making a living, the ones that were most likely to have healthy children (therefore passing on their genes), were the ones that were strongest in those skills: literacy, logic, memory, numeracy, languages, organization of information.

 

Then there were the pogroms, expulsions, false accusations and kangaroo courts. The Jews best able to survive and defend themselves against such persecutions were the smartest ones, the ones best able to understand what was coming and prepare an exit strategy. So Europe Christians selectively killed off the stupidest Jews with much more frequency than the smartest.

 

Now 2000 years later, 100 generations later, this selective persecution has given Jews an advantage in exactly the areas that make them good at mathematics, computing, science, writing of poetry and fiction, and writing of explanatory texts, such as law. This is natural selection at work, but I'd rather call it unconscious selective breeding.

 

Oh, and hats. For two thousand years, being good at hats conferred no survival advantage to Jews. Therefore, such genes didn't get any preference in Jewish reproduction.

 

I leave it as an exercise for the reader to work out why Jews suck at basketball.

 

Thanks for all the hate, Christians!  💓

See, I was just going with my gut and my anecdotal observations - Jews are bad with hats But you got all facty - that's your arena. 

 

I'm glad that I could demonstrate in this thread that actually knowing stuff is not required n order to be right.

 

It helps, I'll grant you that. But one CAN be unforgiveably ignorant, and still turn an at-bat into a run (for my Jewish friends, that means every schlemiel has his day in the sun).

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4 hours ago, SPLIB said:

But one CAN be unforgiveably ignorant, and still turn an at-bat into a run 

 

Stopped clock, twice a day.

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2 hours ago, laripu said:

 

Stopped clock, twice a day.

Only once a day if it's a military clock. They be all "forteen hundred hours" and sh!t. Forteen means two. How dat work?

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5 hours ago, SPLIB said:

Only once a day if it's a military clock. They be all "forteen hundred hours" and sh!t. Forteen means two. How dat work?

 

Modular arithmetic.

Integers mod 12 vs integers mod 24. Turn around on a circle and get back to where you started. That math describes that situation.

 

So you can use the clock as an example of a branch of math in which 10+4=2.

 

There are many kinds of math adapted to different situations. You're used to a*b=b*a (because the area of a rectangle doesn't change when you turn it sideways), but order isn't always reversible. For example, putting on socks and then shoes isn't the same as putting on shoes and then socks. There is math that describes that kind of thing too. (Composition of functions, of which matrix multiplication is an example.)

 

If you can describe it, you can manipulate it. Before you know it (ok, like 500 years 😉) you've got rockets to the moon and GPS.

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10 hours ago, laripu said:

 

Modular arithmetic.

Integers mod 12 vs integers mod 24. Turn around on a circle and get back to where you started. That math describes that situation.

 

So you can use the clock as an example of a branch of math in which 10+4=2.

 

There are many kinds of math adapted to different situations. You're used to a*b=b*a (because the area of a rectangle doesn't change when you turn it sideways), but order isn't always reversible. For example, putting on socks and then shoes isn't the same as putting on shoes and then socks. There is math that describes that kind of thing too. (Composition of functions, of which matrix multiplication is an example.)

 

If you can describe it, you can manipulate it. Before you know it (ok, like 500 years 😉) you've got rockets to the moon and GPS.

One of my personal facts is that we didn't go to the moon. 

 

As I understand it, thers have stolen my fact ad resented it as their own. :)

 

Don't believe them. When they say it, it's wrong.

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