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Nobody is Happy.


What a morning in northern California. I was told it rarely snows here like it did today, so I thought I would build a snowman like we do when it snows back east.

8:00 I made a nice snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8:15 I made a snow woman.

8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead of a snowman and a snow woman.

8:25 The vegans at apt. # 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are “serious food” and are not to to ever be used for “decorating snow figures”.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple I made is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear some strange kind of a headscarf.

8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on.

8:42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get much, much worse after I mutter : "Yeah, that could be true if it's stuck up your a**"

8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.

9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist who is bent on stirring up trouble at this sensitive time.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.

9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was all actually their plot.

Done with this!!
I will never make a snowman, snow woman, or snow whatever again in California. It’s just too dangerous!!

Welcome to the New and Improved US of California !
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