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Zaro

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43 minutes ago, laripu said:

 

I was born when my mother was 43 and my father was 53. My mother was his second wife. His first wife and two daughters were murdered in a concentration camp. They started late because something got in the way: a holocaust.

 

Maybe something got in your parents way. Maybe they don't want to tell you for good reasons.

 

They wanted no distraction while they were getting their education and the position they wanted. I guess my dad could have a low sperm count or something like that. But mostly it took em just so long to get to their safe space

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26 minutes ago, laripu said:

Anyway, it seems that weed and wine are a mechanism you use in order to not feel a variety of feelings.

 

The way out of that is to actually feel those feelings, get through it, cry about it, deal with it. In the end, that's better, because you end up healed. Either way, you're wounded, but getting through it you end up healed; the other way you just keep poking that wound and it never heals.

 

That is actually very good advice.

 

Everybody does it. They don't all have mental problems.

 

You smoke weed to feel something, namely a buzz. Same with alcohol. 

 

And the last sentence "that is actually very good advice", hello?????

 

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On 1/27/2018 at 9:35 PM, Zaro said:

So here is the quote:

"Addiction is neither a disease nor a moral failure but a narrowly focused life style that functions as a meager substitute for people who desperately lack psychological integration."

 

The narrowly focused life style must be the fun life style. 

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3 hours ago, laripu said:

 

I was born when my mother was 43 and my father was 53. My mother was his second wife. His first wife and two daughters were murdered in a concentration camp. They started late because something got in the way: a holocaust.

 

Maybe something got in your parents way. Maybe they don't want to tell you for good reasons.

 

Do you have brothers or sisters?

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2 hours ago, laripu said:

 

 

The way out of that is to actually feel those feelings, get through it, cry about it, deal with it. In the end, that's better, because you end up healed. Either way, you're wounded, but getting through it you end up healed; the other way you just keep poking that wound and it never heals.

 

 

 

Some social anxiety maybe. Doesn't everybody?

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2 hours ago, laripu said:

 

 

That is actually very good advice.

 

Too cute

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32 minutes ago, Zaro said:

 

The narrowly focused life style must be the fun life style. 

 

Today was rough. Felt hungry over

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Just now, Zaro said:

 

Today was rough. Felt hungry over

 

No fun

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16 minutes ago, Zaro said:

 

No fun

 

A fat joint will fix that right up

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1 hour ago, Zaro said:

 

Today was rough. Felt hungry over

 

Well Laripu, ain't you gonna gloat?

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10 hours ago, Zaro said:

Everybody does it. They don't all have mental problems.

 

1. Not everybody does it.

2. I didn't say anything about mental problems. Avoiding feelings you don't like isn't a mental disease it's kind of a widespread human behavior. But it isn't a productive behavior and it's self-destructive.

 

I've seen people come out of it. I've seen other people never come out of it. Some of the people (a small number) who didn't come out of it ended up dying because of it.

 

10 hours ago, Zaro said:

You smoke weed to feel something, namely a buzz. Same with alcohol. 

 

No, I drink one beer a day (home made and strong, like a German bock or doppelbock) and I'm rarely buzzed. Slightly relaxed is my description.  There are numerous health benefits to one beer a day. There are numerous health problems that can be associated with more than one beer a day. So you don't necessarily drink to feel a buzz. And I find the alcohol buzz a bit unpleasant.

 

As far as weed goes, most (not all) of the people I knew who smoked weed were using that buzz in order not to feel something else. The ones who weren't using it that way, were people who smoked rarely: like three or four times a year, and they never bought any, just smoked if they were offered, sometimes.

 

10 hours ago, Zaro said:

And the last sentence "that is actually very good advice", hello?????

 

Yes. It's good advice to feel your emotions, even the negative ones. Especially the negative ones, because that's how you learn to cope with them. To someone who has never had to cope with an emotion they were feeling, any little thing is overwhelming.

 

8 hours ago, Zaro said:

 

Do you have brothers or sisters?

 

Yes, a brother who is ten year older than I am. One of the smartest people I know. I've often been in awe of him.

When I was a child, until I was 11, he introduced me to music, poetry, literature, mathematics, and science. Then he went off on a full ride to MIT, got a PhD there. Not bad for a kid who was born in US refugee camp in Austria. (Him, I mean.)

 

In many ways he was my role model, but I've failed to live up to that model. On the other hand, there are things I've done that he hasn't, and successes I've had in directions he hasn't gone. So I'm a failure like everyone else, but I'm ok with that.  I've studded my failure with many successes, and continue to do so.

 

In the end, everyone is either building someone else's pyramid, or cleaning up after those who do.

 

 

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6 hours ago, Zaro said:

Well Laripu, ain't you gonna gloat?

 

What would that do?

The most useless emotion is schadenfreude.

I don't get taller by making someone shorter.

I don't get taller by putting on platform shoes.

I am what I am, and what I am is enough.

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16 hours ago, laripu said:

 

What would that do?

The most useless emotion is schadenfreude.

I don't get taller by making someone shorter.

I don't get taller by putting on platform shoes.

I am what I am, and what I am is enough.

 

I'm OK with me too

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On 1/30/2018 at 11:08 AM, Zaro said:

I'm OK with me too

 

If true, you'd be ok with you sober.

 

Feeling unpleasant feelings is particularly important when a loved relative is dying, and dies. You could take Valium or something similar and never experience mourning, but mourning is a necessary part of the human experience. Without that, the death is never really over.

 

That's also true of other experiences of pain: the ending of a relationship or the loss of work.

 

Emotions may be unpleasant, but we evolved to have them, and that means they're important. They must be lived through for human psychological health. 

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17 hours ago, laripu said:

 

If true, you'd be ok with you sober.

 

Feeling unpleasant feelings is particularly important when a loved relative is dying, and dies. You could take Valium or something similar and never experience mourning, but mourning is a necessary part of the human experience. Without that, the death is never really over.

 

That's also true of other experiences of pain: the ending of a relationship or the loss of work.

 

Emotions may be unpleasant, but we evolved to have them, and that means they're important. They must be lived through for human psychological health. 

 

I'm ok sober too. I just prefer to be stoned

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So I told you all that I furnished and decorated my place in Germany. My dad fronted the money because you got a discount for cash instead of payments. So now I have to make monthly payments to my dad. And I got a little behind. 

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4 hours ago, Zaro said:

I got a little behind. 

 

Lots of men like a little behind.

Lots of men like a big behind too.

 

There's room for all kinds of behinds. They're all part of life's great trompe-l'œil pageantry.

 

But I won't make a big to-do.

 

I'm speaking as one who is out of the competition for behinds, be they big, little, funky or sweet. To me they're just your butt, to me they're just your seat.

 

Hey you with the little behind ... learn responsibility.

It'll do your ass good. Trust me.

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I met this guy who looks like Johnny Depp. He just texted me again. I can already taste it. Yum yum

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3 hours ago, Zaro said:

I met this guy who looks like Johnny Depp. He just texted me again. I can already taste it. Yum yum

 

Good luck.  Enjoy! 

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On 3/22/2018 at 7:14 PM, laripu said:

 

Good luck.  Enjoy! 

I don't know. I seem to attract macho Man types. All that I really know so far about the guy is that I like his looks. 

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1 hour ago, Zaro said:

I don't know. I seem to attract macho Man types. All that I really know so far about the guy is that I like his looks. 

 

So get to know him. Maybe you'll like him. Maybe not. You won't know until you hear him jabber a bit.

 

Maybe he'll be all sweet and nervous. Maybe he'll be a stupid braggart. You won't know until you listen and watch. Try a double date for safety?

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16 minutes ago, laripu said:

 

So get to know him. Maybe you'll like him. Maybe not. You won't know until you hear him jabber a bit.

 

Maybe he'll be all sweet and nervous. Maybe he'll be a stupid braggart. You won't know until you listen and watch. Try a double date for safety?

 

I need to step up at school.  Spend more time on why I'm  here in the first place.  I got caught up in partying a bit

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Just now, Zaro said:

I need to step up at school.  Spend more time on why I'm  here in the first place.  I got caught up in partying a bit

 

That happened to me in 1977. I was 21. I was working all day at a stupid physical job, stocking shelves in a pharmacy, full time, then mathematics classes at night, then drinking and partying until 2AM. (Montreal's now defunct Rainbow Bar and Grill. A great little club.)

 

The result: one day I literally couldn't get up to go to work. I couldn't get out of bed.  That lasted a week. After a week I saw a doctor who said I was suffering from exhaustion. I rested another week then went back to work.

 

I think the only reason I didn't get fired was that the pharmacist owner was Jewish, and so was I. About a year later, he fired me anyway, because I called him a pig. (He deserved it, but that's another story.)

 

In the long run, taking care of school and doing well there is a wiser choice. 

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