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A fun read --


rick55
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>  This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.
>
>  Men Are Just Happier People!
>
>  What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
>  put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>  Chocolate is
>  just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white
>  T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
>
>  Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal.
>  You never have
>  to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too
>  icky.
>  You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
>  Wrinkles add character.
>
>  Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your
>  chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or
>  mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over
>  in
>  30 seconds
>  flat. You know stuff about tanks.
>
>  A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your
>  own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
>  thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still
>  be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of
>  shoes are more than enough.
>
>  You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see
>  wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
>  color.
>  The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to
>  shave your face and neck.
>
>  You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes
>  - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your
>  legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
>
>  You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
>  You can do
>  Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes .
>
>  No wonder men are happier!
>
>
>  NICKNAMES
>
>  If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
>  Laura, Kate and Sarah.
>  If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
>  other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
>
>  EATING OUT
>
>  When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
>  even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
>  smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
>
>  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
>  MONEY
>
>  A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
>  sale.
>
>  BATHROOMS
>
>  A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
>  shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
>  The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
>  man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
>
>  ARGUMENTS
>
>  A woman has the last word in any argument.
>  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
>
>  FUTURE
>
>  A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>  A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
>  MARRIAGE
>
>  A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>  A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>
>  DRESSING UP
>
>  A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
>  trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
>  A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
>  NATURAL
>
>  Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>  Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
>  OFFSPRING
>
>  Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
>  dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
>  secret fears and hopes and dreams.
>  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
>  THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
>
>  A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
>  remembering the same thing!
>
>  So, send this to the women who have a sense of humor ....
>  and to the men who
>  will enjoy reading it.

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