rick55 Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 > This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender. > > Men Are Just Happier People! > > What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays > put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. > Chocolate is > just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white > T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. > > Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. > You never have > to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too > icky. > You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. > Wrinkles add character. > > Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your > chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or > mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over > in > 30 seconds > flat. You know stuff about tanks. > > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your > own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of > thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still > be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of > shoes are more than enough. > > You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see > wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original > color. > The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to > shave your face and neck. > > You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes > - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your > legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. > > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. > You can do > Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes . > > No wonder men are happier! > > > NICKNAMES > > If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other > Laura, Kate and Sarah. > If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each > other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman. > > EATING OUT > > When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, > even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything > smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. > > When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. > > MONEY > > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on > sale. > > BATHROOMS > > A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, > shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. > The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A > man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. > > ARGUMENTS > > A woman has the last word in any argument. > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument > > FUTURE > > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. > > MARRIAGE > > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. > > DRESSING UP > > A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the > trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. > A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. > > NATURAL > > Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. > Women somehow deteriorate during the night. > > OFFSPRING > > Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about > dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, > secret fears and hopes and dreams. > A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. > > THOUGHT FOR THE DAY > > A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people > remembering the same thing! > > So, send this to the women who have a sense of humor .... > and to the men who > will enjoy reading it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XavierOnassis Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 Exaggerated a bit, but funny and not political. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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