Jump to content

A Day In The Life Of Joe Republican in 2017

Recommended Posts

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water from the gallon jug he bought to prepare his morning coffee. Tap water smells weird and tastes funny ever since they built the pipeline.


With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His new pills give him a rash, but they are way cheaper than the old ones.


All but $10 of his medications used to be paid for by his employer's medical plan before the company got sold.


He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is processed in China and is giving him cancer but he won't know it for a couple of years.


In the morning shower, Joe reaches to fill the holding tank with warm water he brought in from the kitchen. He doesn't shower with tap water anymore. It makes his skin itch.


Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. He coughs a little bit and his eyes sting, but that is the smell of progress and industry!


He walks on the government-provided sidewalk, carefully stepping over the large tilted up section from a tree root. He once saw an old black woman trip and fall over it. He thought that was funny and it served her right for coming around here.


Joe goes to his car and gets in. He used to take the subway but these days the stations are filthy, the cars are covered with graffiti, and the trains are late most of the time - if they are running at all. Joe doesn't even think about that bond bill he voted no on.


Joe drives through the picket line to begin his work day. The new owners are letting the union contracts expire. The bosses told Joe that since he was in charge of a work gang he is now a "supervisor" and has to report to work or he will lose his job.


If Joe is hurt on the job, he'll be covered for six months or until he reaches his treatment cap. The only health insurance Joe could get costs a third of his monthly income.


If a Joe becomes unemployed, well, he tries not to think about that.


It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. He swipes his bank card to get in to the only branch he can make it to on his lunch hour (he'd better be back on time!)

He needs to swipe his card again to get inside the inner lobby. The banks have tightened up security ever since the police department cutbacks.


Joe is still paying off his re-financed mortgage. The payments sure have gone up. Joe never really did understand how that adjustable rate mortgage thing works but the guy at the bank told him it was a good deal. Joe is still not sure what they mean by "balloon payment".


Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country and help pack his father for the move. The farm that has been in his family for three generations has been sold to help pay for the assisted living facility. It's a good thing Mom didn't live to see this, but she died of a treatable condition because she couldn't afford to go for regular preventive checkups.


He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. They have been cutting back his Social Security payments, and his pension went away when the company used the pension funds to cover some "temporary shortfalls". On his way home a Low Fuel light goes on. Joe remarks to himself how expensive gasoline has been getting lately.


Joe turns on a radio talk show. The hourly news update mentions a new German - Russian non aggression treaty. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. Joe sees a faded Hillary bumper sticker on a car getting a ticket by the side of the road and laughs to himself. Joe thinks how glad he is that that bitch Hillary didn't get elected.


Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...