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If Rand Paul were a woman...


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"Rand Pauls acolytes often claim the senator gets marginalized because of his ideas. Its because hes a libertarian, they say, that hes not treated fairly by the media. Its a hard argument to make. Paul is a staple of the mainest of all mainstream media, the Sunday shows, and widely considered a top-tier presidential contender by middle-of-the-road analysts.

 

But lets imagine the junior senator from Kentucky were a woman. Not just any womanlets call her Randibut, for the sake of this argument, a beautiful woman. The men want to sleep with her, women want to be her echelon of physical attractiveness. Everything else is identical: self-certified eye doctor, first-term senator, and she got the job with a boost from her father.

 

While the Republican Party is taking a nosedive in popularity, she says: Does anybody remember Charlie Sheen when he was kind of going crazy ... And he was going around, jumping around saying Winning, winning, were winning? Well I kind of feel like that, we are winning. And Im not on any drugs.

 

People snicker about how dumb she is. Twitter erupts with sarcastic hashtags: #RandiLulz, #CandywithRandi and #RandiLogic. Shes considered a ditzthe Senates answer to Michele Bachmann. Still, Randi gets ratings!

 

People tune in to her media appearances just waiting for her to say something stupid. Its like NASCARpart fandom, part hoping for a crash. Its self-perpetuating: Because shes shameless and gaffe-prone, she becomes fascinating at a Real Housewives level. Her profile grows, and soon the conventional wisdom is that shes very popular. Pundits deem her a kingmaker. People find her very compelling, liberal talking heads concede. Conservatives say Randi is Everywoman, the voice for mothers and career women alike. And look, were talking about her again! they all agree.

 

But Randi has a problem with the facts. They seem to elude her. She repeatedly says we have a trillion-dollar deficit when, according to the CBO, its only $642 billion and falling sharply. Plus she mixes up deficit and debt. The Beltway press diligently points this out, smirking. Shes ambitiousa word her detractors say with a snarl. But easy on the eyes, her supporters counter. The debate becomes Pretty vs. Pretty Dumb.

 

Randi tries to position herself as above this fray. "The fact-checking is not fact-checking. These are people with a bias. It's purely an opinion. The stuff is so ludicrous I don't even read it, she says of her critics.

 

The headline is: Randi Admits She Doesnt Read! The Internet breaks out in a rash of mansplaining. Shes dubbed Bluegrass Barbie.

 

Randi tries to show off her policy chops to prove shes serious. Not just about a potential presidential run, but generally serious. Shes a lawmakera senator! All the giggling at her flubs makes her seem unserious. The media chides, She wants to be taken seriously.

 

So she uses the filibuster. She spends 13 hours railing against the use of unmanned drones. Yes, unmanned drones. An issue that would bring the country together! Civil liberties and constitutional rights all rolled into a perfect issue. "Does the president have the authority to use a weaponized drone to kill an American not engaged in combat on American soil?" she demands.

 

When the administration says no, its hailed as a major triumph for her. But the next month on Fox News, chatting a little too comfortably with Neil Cavuto, she blunders: If someone comes out of a liquor store with a weapon and 50 dollars in cash, I dont care if a drone kills him or a policeman kills him. Oops.

 

Bluegrass Barbie Does a 180 on Drones! Now shes called a Drone Bimbo. Men who otherwise think of themselves as progressive take to Twitter and spend their free time calling her a dingbat (or worse).

 

Then an interview with Businessweek comes out. Asked specifically to name a nondead ideal Federal Reserve chairman, Randi answers, Friedman would probably be pretty good, too, and hes not an Austrian, but he would be better than what we have. Milton Friedman died in 2006. The next two news cycles are guffawing about Madam Presidents zombie cabinet: Paul of the Dead.

 

Hacks and haters! Randi replies. The media hangs on her every word. They use her lack of civics knowledge as a peg to write explainers. On Syria, Randi says: I think the failure of the Obama Administration has been we havent engaged the Russians enough or the Chinese enough on this, and I think they were engaged. And because its the Drone Bimbo, wed have weeks of blog posts about Cold War proxy battlefields pointing out that Russia is not on the same side as the U.S. in Syria.

 

Randi inspires a genre of columns: Ms. Paul said this, what she doesnt understand is this. Late-night hosts ask people on the streets the same questions Randi got wrong and are tickled by those who get it right and forgiving of those who also get it wrong. Since everyone agrees she doesnt know what shes talking about, Randi is referred to as Senator Sex Kitten.

 

Next come the serious think pieces asking whether Randi Paul is smart enough to be president. Ms. Paul has drive and voter appeal, but her weak grasp of basic economic and foreign-policy issues makes even her most ardent supporters pause, pundits write. They all entertain the idea that sexism plays a role in how the media treat her, but solemnly insist that doesnt negate her basic lack of competency when it came to policy issues.

 

When Randi is caught plagiarizing a couple of speeches, an op-ed, and a few pages of her book, she fires back at reporters. If I were their journalism teacher in college, I would fail them, she says.

 

But her lecture on media ethics is greeted with the same seriousness as complaints from her fellow Republican Sarah Palin. Randi had no credibility to lose. She was already a national punch line. A meme. A joke. A shiny distraction. And now shes also a proven plagiarist. Shes referred to as silly. A silly airhead. Theres a collective condescending chuckle at the thought of a girl like her in the Oval Office. Right?

 

So the question is: Why not for him?"

 

...The Atlantic

 

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The GOP would hate him just like they hate all women.

It's not a meme, it's real. rand paul is totally without any character or brains, but he gets a pass from the right, if he were a woman he'd be thrown under the buss.

 

I think Paul is a good rep for the modern republican party. No substance, no brains.

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"Rand Pauls acolytes often claim the senator gets marginalized because of his ideas. Its because hes a libertarian, they say, that hes not treated fairly by the media. Its a hard argument to make. Paul is a staple of the mainest of all mainstream media, the Sunday shows, and widely considered a top-tier presidential contender by middle-of-the-road analysts.

 

But lets imagine the junior senator from Kentucky were a woman. Not just any womanlets call her Randibut, for the sake of this argument, a beautiful woman. The men want to sleep with her, women want to be her echelon of physical attractiveness. Everything else is identical: self-certified eye doctor, first-term senator, and she got the job with a boost from her father.

 

 

So....now you all are reduced to wishing people were women? What next?...wishing that barak obogus was a man? While you are at it why not wish you could schit gold nuggets.

 

IS this all you clowns have to do with your lives is sit around and wish? What a bunch of idiots....reality is too much for them

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"Rand Pauls acolytes often claim the senator gets marginalized because of his ideas. Its because hes a libertarian, they say, that hes not treated fairly by the media. Its a hard argument to make. Paul is a staple of the mainest of all mainstream media, the Sunday shows, and widely considered a top-tier presidential contender by middle-of-the-road analysts.

 

But lets imagine the junior senator from Kentucky were a woman. Not just any womanlets call her Randibut, for the sake of this argument, a beautiful woman. The men want to sleep with her, women want to be her echelon of physical attractiveness. Everything else is identical: self-certified eye doctor, first-term senator, and she got the job with a boost from her father.

 

While the Republican Party is taking a nosedive in popularity, she says: Does anybody remember Charlie Sheen when he was kind of going crazy ... And he was going around, jumping around saying Winning, winning, were winning? Well I kind of feel like that, we are winning. And Im not on any drugs.

 

People snicker about how dumb she is. Twitter erupts with sarcastic hashtags: #RandiLulz, #CandywithRandi and #RandiLogic. Shes considered a ditzthe Senates answer to Michele Bachmann. Still, Randi gets ratings!

 

People tune in to her media appearances just waiting for her to say something stupid. Its like NASCARpart fandom, part hoping for a crash. Its self-perpetuating: Because shes shameless and gaffe-prone, she becomes fascinating at a Real Housewives level. Her profile grows, and soon the conventional wisdom is that shes very popular. Pundits deem her a kingmaker. People find her very compelling, liberal talking heads concede. Conservatives say Randi is Everywoman, the voice for mothers and career women alike. And look, were talking about her again! they all agree.

 

But Randi has a problem with the facts. They seem to elude her. She repeatedly says we have a trillion-dollar deficit when, according to the CBO, its only $642 billion and falling sharply. Plus she mixes up deficit and debt. The Beltway press diligently points this out, smirking. Shes ambitiousa word her detractors say with a snarl. But easy on the eyes, her supporters counter. The debate becomes Pretty vs. Pretty Dumb.

 

Randi tries to position herself as above this fray. "The fact-checking is not fact-checking. These are people with a bias. It's purely an opinion. The stuff is so ludicrous I don't even read it, she says of her critics.

 

The headline is: Randi Admits She Doesnt Read! The Internet breaks out in a rash of mansplaining. Shes dubbed Bluegrass Barbie.

 

Randi tries to show off her policy chops to prove shes serious. Not just about a potential presidential run, but generally serious. Shes a lawmakera senator! All the giggling at her flubs makes her seem unserious. The media chides, She wants to be taken seriously.

 

So she uses the filibuster. She spends 13 hours railing against the use of unmanned drones. Yes, unmanned drones. An issue that would bring the country together! Civil liberties and constitutional rights all rolled into a perfect issue. "Does the president have the authority to use a weaponized drone to kill an American not engaged in combat on American soil?" she demands.

 

When the administration says no, its hailed as a major triumph for her. But the next month on Fox News, chatting a little too comfortably with Neil Cavuto, she blunders: If someone comes out of a liquor store with a weapon and 50 dollars in cash, I dont care if a drone kills him or a policeman kills him. Oops.

 

Bluegrass Barbie Does a 180 on Drones! Now shes called a Drone Bimbo. Men who otherwise think of themselves as progressive take to Twitter and spend their free time calling her a dingbat (or worse).

 

Then an interview with Businessweek comes out. Asked specifically to name a nondead ideal Federal Reserve chairman, Randi answers, Friedman would probably be pretty good, too, and hes not an Austrian, but he would be better than what we have. Milton Friedman died in 2006. The next two news cycles are guffawing about Madam Presidents zombie cabinet: Paul of the Dead.

 

Hacks and haters! Randi replies. The media hangs on her every word. They use her lack of civics knowledge as a peg to write explainers. On Syria, Randi says: I think the failure of the Obama Administration has been we havent engaged the Russians enough or the Chinese enough on this, and I think they were engaged. And because its the Drone Bimbo, wed have weeks of blog posts about Cold War proxy battlefields pointing out that Russia is not on the same side as the U.S. in Syria.

 

Randi inspires a genre of columns: Ms. Paul said this, what she doesnt understand is this. Late-night hosts ask people on the streets the same questions Randi got wrong and are tickled by those who get it right and forgiving of those who also get it wrong. Since everyone agrees she doesnt know what shes talking about, Randi is referred to as Senator Sex Kitten.

 

Next come the serious think pieces asking whether Randi Paul is smart enough to be president. Ms. Paul has drive and voter appeal, but her weak grasp of basic economic and foreign-policy issues makes even her most ardent supporters pause, pundits write. They all entertain the idea that sexism plays a role in how the media treat her, but solemnly insist that doesnt negate her basic lack of competency when it came to policy issues.

 

When Randi is caught plagiarizing a couple of speeches, an op-ed, and a few pages of her book, she fires back at reporters. If I were their journalism teacher in college, I would fail them, she says.

 

But her lecture on media ethics is greeted with the same seriousness as complaints from her fellow Republican Sarah Palin. Randi had no credibility to lose. She was already a national punch line. A meme. A joke. A shiny distraction. And now shes also a proven plagiarist. Shes referred to as silly. A silly airhead. Theres a collective condescending chuckle at the thought of a girl like her in the Oval Office. Right?

 

So the question is: Why not for him?"

 

...The Atlantic

Randi boy may not be a women but he's still a bit-h

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It's not a meme, it's real. rand paul is totally without any character or brains, but he gets a pass from the right, if he were a woman he'd be thrown under the buss.

 

I think Paul is a good rep for the modern republican party. No substance, no brains.

 

Progressive character=hand out more food stamps, medicaid and section 8 housing. :lol: :lol: :lol:

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But in the mean time...on a TV she bought at Walmart, (where Glen Beck once worked when he was in College, the same College Tim Tebow thought about going to) Sarah Palin simultaneously watched MSNBC on how the REPUBS were completely to blame for the Government shut down, CNN about Trayvon Martin and Fox News about East Jerlusum but there was no mention of global warming disporpotionaly caused by Israel and the effect it has on the peace loving Palestinian people, while she read a article on gun control (and day dreamed about what has a greater impact...same sex marriage or the Republican war on women) as she ate a Chick-Fil-A sandwich... washing it down with a 64 oz Coke, that she bought at a Koch Brothers franchise, right next to the Catholic Church (where the local Tea Party meets to discuss keeping minorities down, the illegal immigrant problem and the war in Iraq that Haliburton really started) which was built where a old growth forest use to be, that the Red Skins used for burying their dead and as a center for redistributing their wealth until White Christian European males (who Mitt Romney is a direct descendant of) came and stole their land and planted it with genetically altered crops and polluted it and never paid enough taxes on it because they were greedy rich and took advantage of the Bush tax cuts, hoping they could some day build a prison there to warehouse inmates that racist cops rail roaded, and Miley Cyrus in a outrageously sheer pair of pants...without underwear on, danced on Jerry Falwells grave.

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