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Khepra

Anti-Religious--Slavery And Religious Quotes, And Sexist Scriptures

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The world would be better off without religion.

 

On yet another Christian Sabbath Day--great news regarding relgion~

 

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/04/160422-atheism-agnostic-secular-nones-rising-religion/

 

"...More people than ever before are identifying as atheist, agnostic, or otherwise nonreligious, with potentially world-changing effects..."

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Jokes for the end of the Jewish Sabbath Day and the dawn of the Christian Sabbath Day~

 

 

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I wish they were all ugly again."

 

 

Mary, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."

 

 

Three men are traveling on a ship, when they are accosted by the Devil. The Devil proposes that if each man drops something into the sea and he cannot find it, he will be that man's slave. If the Devil does find it, however, he will eat that man up. The first man drops a pure, clear diamond, and immediately gets eaten. The second drops an expensive watch, trying to impress the Devil, and gets eaten. The third man fills a bottle with water and pours it into the sea yelling, "You think I'm a fool? Try finding that!"

 

 

If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus is the lamb of God, does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

 

 

Late one night, a preacher was driving on a country road and had a wreck. A farmer stopped and said, "Sir, are you okay?" The preacher said, "Yes, I had the Lord riding with me." The farmer said, "Well, you better let him ride with me, because you're gonna kill him."

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Hard to compete with arguably the best orator among African-American preachers in America today.

 

One of the best speeches from this week's Democratic National Convention:

 

https://youtu.be/NAFZKcYn8qI

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From the article: In Theory: Is there a gender issue in religious leadership?

 

http://www.latimes.com/socal/burbank-leader/opinion/tn-blr-me-in-theory-women-religious-leadership-20160315-story.html

 

"Researchers with the Pew Research Center looked at nine major U.S. religious organizations and found that women rarely held leadership positions, both historically and presently."

 

"Among the groups looked at were American Baptist Churches USA, United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism and the Unitarian Universalist Assn."...

 

Oh really! In Theory?

 

Just read the sexist and discriminatory scriptures of religions like Judaism, Islam and Christianity--they are scriptures that subjugate women and teach that women are inferior and to be subservient to men.

 

Scriptures that promote sexism, discrimination and inequality towards women are the reason why there is, and probably always will be gender inequality in religious leadership--unfortunately and predictably to the detriment of women.

 

Note: The Old Testament of the Christian Bible with the exception of some added, condensed or a few excluded chapters--are the same for Judaism's religious book "The Tanakh" as the Bible of Christianity.

 

https://valerietarico.com/2012/03/09/15-bible-texts-reveal-why-gods-own-party-is-at-war-with-women/

 

http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2005/11/top_ten_rules_in_the_quran_tha.html

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From the article: In Theory: Is there a gender issue in religious leadership?

 

http://www.latimes.com/socal/burbank-leader/opinion/tn-blr-me-in-theory-women-religious-leadership-20160315-story.html

 

"Researchers with the Pew Research Center looked at nine major U.S. religious organizations and found that women rarely held leadership positions, both historically and presently."

 

"Among the groups looked at were American Baptist Churches USA, United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism and the Unitarian Universalist Assn."...

 

Oh really! In Theory?

 

Just read the sexist and discriminatory scriptures of religions like Judaism, Islam and Christianity--they are scriptures that subjugate women and teach that women are inferior and to be subservient to men.

 

Scriptures that promote sexism, discrimination and inequality towards women are the reason why there is, and probably always will be gender inequality in religious leadership--unfortunately and predictably to the detriment of women.

 

Note: The Old Testament of the Christian Bible with the exception of some added, condensed or a few excluded chapters--are the same for Judaism's religious book "The Tanakh" as the Bible of Christianity.

 

https://valerietarico.com/2012/03/09/15-bible-texts-reveal-why-gods-own-party-is-at-war-with-women/

 

http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2005/11/top_ten_rules_in_the_quran_tha.html

Gender Equality is a relatively new concept. Give it time.

 

Good to hear from you Khepra

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Gender Equality is a relatively new concept. Give it time.

 

Good to hear from you Khepra

Thanks for the post "Five by Five"-- it is great to here from one of our moderators.

 

I have to say that women in America, have been advocating women's rights and complaining about gender inequality since the mid 1600's--even before our land become known as the United States of America.

 

http://www.biography.com/people/groups/activists-womens-rights-activists

 

The following applies to Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam and numerous other mythical and male centered religions.

 

Sexist and extant religious scriptures that define women as subordinate, inferior, and subject to male domination, will only change if the actual extant scriptures are revised or removed.

 

Women are still living in oppression and domination, in many locations around the world (Africa, Asia, The Middle East, India, Pakistan, South America etc...etc...

 

The great thing about America, is we still need to do better by women on the issue of gender equality, but we are further along than most of the before mentioned locations on Earth.

 

The time for gender equality is near in America--and it will be expedited, propelled and moved to a closer and final reality when Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton--breaks the ultimate gender barrier and becomes the 45th President of the United States of America.

 

People evolved in America and eliminated slavery, despite slavery scriptures contained in the religious books of Christianity, Judaism and Islam remaining extant. Religion can never reform slavery, because religion is slavery--the same is true regarding gender inequality for women.

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More Religious Jokes

 

~There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldnt swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, Do you need help, sir? The preacher calmly said No, God will save me.

 

A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, Hey, do you need help? The preacher replied again, No God will save me.

 

Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, Why didnt you save me? God replied, Fool, I sent you two boats!

 

~Josey wasnt the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. Who is the creator of the universe? Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, God almighty! The teacher congratulated her.

 

A little later the teacher asked her another question, Tell me who is our lord and savior? Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, Jesus Christ! The teacher congratulated her again.

 

Later on the teacher asked, What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child? Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, If you stick that thing in me again, Ill snap it in half and stick it up your ass!

 

~An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout PRAISE THE LORD!

 

Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, There aint no Lord!!

 

Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!

 

The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, PRAISE THE LORD.

 

The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didnt.

 

The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!

 

~An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.

 

When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.

 

Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats.

 

Finally, the banker said, Preacher, why did you ask us to come?

 

The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, Jesus died between two thieves, and thats how I want to go.

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I agree! These Republicans and slave supporters are despicable. Nevermind Democrats supported slavery and started the KKK cuz so much has changed since then. Republicans and slave people are just mean and stupid. They can keep their hands off my body!

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I agree! These Republicans and slave supporters are despicable. Nevermind Democrats supported slavery and started the KKK cuz so much has changed since then. Republicans and slave people are just mean and stupid. They can keep their hands off my body!

 

The biggest supporter of slavery is the Christian Bible and Tanakh of Judaism. Both religious books read like operational manuals that provide instructions and guidelines for enslaving humans, including children and the beating and killing of slaves.

 

The New Testament of the Bible has numerous scriptures that provide instructions for how slaves should act and how obedient they should be to their slave masters.

 

The reason why slavery lasted so long in America is because religious scriptures advocated for it and provided the moral justification for slavery. The most ardent supporters of slavery in America was found in the pulpit on Sunday Morning.

 

Republicans are right that democrats were heavily involved with the beginning and the perpetuation of the Ku Klux Klan.

 

However, republicans insult the intelligence of Americans who know what occurred beginning in 1964, when The Democratic Party under the leadership of President Johnson, embraced Civil Rights and the 1964 Civil Rights Act, which ended Jim Crow segregation.

 

The Republican Party nominee for president Barry Goldwater, out of desperation to win in 1964, embraced Jim Crow segregation, seeking southern votes. Racist and bigoted democratic segregationist, outraged at the Democratic Party leadership, bolted the Democratic Party and joined the Republican Party.

 

The racist and bigoted 'states right's' democratic segregationists from the 1960's, are now infested within the Republican Party, especially but certainly not limited to the deep south.

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The biggest supporter of slavery is the Christian Bible and Tanakh of Judaism. Both religious books read like operational manuals that provide instructions and guidelines for enslaving humans, including children and the beating and killing of slaves.

 

The New Testament of the Bible has numerous scriptures that provide instructions for how slaves should act and how obedient they should be to their slave masters.

 

The reason why slavery lasted so long in America is because religious scriptures advocated for it and provided the moral justification for slavery. The most ardent supporters of slavery in America was found in the pulpit on Sunday Morning.

 

Republicans are right that democrats were heavily involved with the beginning and the perpetuation of the Ku Klux Klan.

 

However, republicans insult the intelligence of Americans who know what occurred beginning in 1964, when The Democratic Party under the leadership of President Johnson, embraced Civil Rights and the 1964 Civil Rights Act, which ended Jim Crow segregation.

 

The Republican Party nominee for president Barry Goldwater, out of desperation to win in 1964, embraced Jim Crow segregation, seeking southern votes. Racist and bigoted democratic segregationist, outraged at the Democratic Party leadership, bolted the Democratic Party and joined the Republican Party.

 

The racist and bigoted 'states right's' democratic segregationists from the 1960's, are now infested within the Republican Party, especially but certainly not limited to the deep south.

It is all not good

 

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It is all not good

 

Famous George Carlin Religious Quotes.

 

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."--[George Carlin, from the album "A Place For My Stuff"]

 

"We created god in our own image and likeness."--[George Carlin]

 

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."--[George Carlin]

 

"The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music."--[George Carlin, Brain Droppings]

 

"I have as much authority as the pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it."--[George Carlin, Brain Droppings]

 

"I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from."--[George Carlin, Brain Droppings]

 

"Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it, religion has actually convinced people that there's an INVISIBLE MAN...LIVING IN THE SKY...who watches every thing you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten special things that he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry for ever and ever 'til the end of time...but he loves you.--[George Carlin, from "You Are All Diseased"]

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Like Christianity and Judaism, the scriptures of Islam promote violence against--and condemnation of the LGBTQ community.

 

Given the level of violence members of the LGBTQ community face throughout the Middle East, from far to many extreme and zealot followers of Islam, the following declaration by a Islamic cleric in Iraq, is being heralded by many in the LGBTQ community as a significant first step.

 

http://www.al-monitor.com/pulse/originals/2016/09/homosexuality-lgbt-iraq-iran-muqtada-sadr.html

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Today is September 22nd.

 

Happy Fall (Autumnal) Equinox!

 

The death of Jesus is a well-known Christian myth; he was crucified on a cross; placed in a sepulcher (burial chamber); rose after three days; then ascended up into heaven to live with God.

 

This myth is very similar from a solar and astronomical view, to what happens during the autumnal (fall) equinox, winter solstice, vernal (spring) equinox, and summer solstice in the northern hemisphere.

 

If you compare the mythical crucifixion, death, burial, resurrection in three days, and ascension into heaven of Jesus with the celestial solar events of the equinoxes and solstices, one can see similarities.

 

*Note: On earth we perceive the Sun moving on the horizon, as well as up and down in the sky because of the earth being tilted on its axis, spinning, and wobbling as it revolves around the Sun.

 

The sun in September and March in the northern hemisphere crucifies the horizon at sunset and sunrise, forming a celestial cross. After the autumnal (fall) equinox on September 22nd, the sun moves south on the horizon and reaches its most southern point on the horizon, where it stops on the day of the winter solstice on December 21st or 22nd.

 

Also, after the autumnal (fall) equinox, the sun is moving lower and lower in the sky as seen from earth. It reaches its lowest point in the sky as viewed from earth, and is the closest to earth on December 21st or 22nd (the winter solstice) thru the first week in January (called "the perihelion").

 

At the winter solstice the sun stops, pauses, dies, or is buried. About three days after the sun stops, pauses, dies, or is buried, it is resurrected or reborn and begins to rise up in the sky again as viewed from earth, as it starts moving northward on the horizon.

 

There is another crucifixion of the sun on the horizon during the vernal (spring) equinox, the time of year Easter is celebrated (the first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the vernal equinox, March 20th or 21st).

 

The sun then continues northward on the horizon and crosses over or passes over the celestial point of crucifixion and ascends or rises to its highest point in the sky on June 20th or 21st (the summer solstice) thru the first week of July (called "the aphelion").

 

The sun on the day of the summer solstice at sunrise reaches its most northern point on the horizon. The sun again pauses for about three days before reversing itself and heading south again on the horizon.

 

The myth of Jesus is man-made, but it follows the natural law of nature and the universe as it mimics the perceived movement of the sun, caused by the earth being tilted on its axis, spinning, and wobbling as it revolves around the Sun.

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God, Same-sex marriage, Trump, Giuliani and Love

 

Now we know we Rudy Giuliani has been such a staunch, rigid and apparently stiffed supporter of Donald Trump.

 

Giuliani's support for Trump has been consecrated by God Almighty.

https://youtu.be/VMc6u97bjmY

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The only religious freedom republicans want, is the freedom to use religion to discriminate and violate the civil and human rights of people they have a different opinion than, or different perception and concept of what is morally upright and acceptable.

 

Republicans all across America, in coordinated and systematic fashion, are attempting to use religion to discriminate and violate the civil and human rights of others. Several examples directed at women and the LGBTQ community is currently being exemplified by the current, Trump-Pence 2016 republican presidential ticket.

 

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2016/09/23/donald-trump-pledges-to-sign-anti-lgbt-law-to-permit-religious-discrimination/

 

...In a statement, Trump confirmed he would sign the so-called First Amendment Defence Act, which bans the government from taking any action against a person, wholly or partially on the basis that such person believes or acts in accordance with a religious belief or moral conviction that marriage is or should be recognised as the union of one man and one woman, or that sexual relations are properly reserved to such a marriage....

 

 

http://m.motherjones.com/politics/2016/07/donald-trump-mike-pence-vice-president-abortion-gay

 

...In Congress, Pence was a champion of conservative and religious causes. He voted against measures aimed at preventing LGBT discrimination and helping families in poverty, and he supported federal legislation prohibiting same-sex marriage. As governor of Indiana, Pence has brought this Religious Right-friendly agenda to the state and enacted a number of stringent socially conservative measures...

 

...He gave protection to businesses in Indiana that discriminate against gay people: In March 2015, Pence signed a bill into law permitting business owners to refuse service to gay and lesbian customers due to their religious beliefs. The bill also allowed religious beliefs to be used as a rationale for other forms of discrimination. As my colleague Molly Redden described it: "An employer who refused to hire Jewish employees could cite his religious beliefs as a defense against discrimination lawsuits...

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A SOK is a sock puppet. This is an extra poster created by a regular poster on a forum so that the first poster can appear to have the support of another person,. or can carry on a debate with himself for amusement.

 

One of the most weird things about the Christian religion is that it is claimed thta Jesus was sent to bring the word of God to Mankind. But the Jewish culture is one in which the written word is more valuable than the spoken word, and so it would make sense that the New Testament logically should have been written by Jesus himself, rather than the four evangelists Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Luke and Mark are Roman,not Hebrew names, and Jesus has practically nothing to do with Gentiles. Most of the official beliefs of the Christian religion come from Paul of Tarsus, a man who never claimed to personally meet Jesus ever. The four Gospels mention Jesus miraculous birth, the magic star, and such, but Paul ,mentions none of these things. Most scholars agree that Paul wrote his Acts and other books BEFORE the Gospels were written. Most say that this was around 40 years after the crucifixion, so it is like someone sitting down today and writing a biography of Dalton Trumbo. Agatha Christie or Howard Hughes (all of whom died in 1976) from oral sources.

Logically, there should have been a Gospel according th Jesus Christ, written by Jesus Christ, not four gospels written from hearsay by who the Hell knows. If God is perfect, then God knows that 40 year old hearsay is bound to be inaccurate.

 

Jesus does NOT fit the Hebrew definition of the Messiah. A Messiah would have been a military and political leader, not an itinerant preacher. Someone more like Shimon Bar Kokhba, who actually organized the Jews and threw the Romans out of Jerusalem in 132 CE and held it until the Romans returned with a huge army and reconquered Palestine in 135 CE.

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A SOK is a sock puppet. This is an extra poster created by a regular poster on a forum so that the first poster can appear to have the support of another person,. or can carry on a debate with himself for amusement.

 

One of the most weird things about the Christian religion is that it is claimed thta Jesus was sent to bring the word of God to Mankind. But the Jewish culture is one in which the written word is more valuable than the spoken word, and so it would make sense that the New Testament logically should have been written by Jesus himself, rather than the four evangelists Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Luke and Mark are Roman,not Hebrew names, and Jesus has practically nothing to do with Gentiles. Most of the official beliefs of the Christian religion come from Paul of Tarsus, a man who never claimed to personally meet Jesus ever. The four Gospels mention Jesus miraculous birth, the magic star, and such, but Paul ,mentions none of these things. Most scholars agree that Paul wrote his Acts and other books BEFORE the Gospels were written. Most say that this was around 40 years after the crucifixion, so it is like someone sitting down today and writing a biography of Dalton Trumbo. Agatha Christie or Howard Hughes (all of whom died in 1976) from oral sources.

Logically, there should have been a Gospel according th Jesus Christ, written by Jesus Christ, not four gospels written from hearsay by who the Hell knows. If God is perfect, then God knows that 40 year old hearsay is bound to be inaccurate.

 

Jesus does NOT fit the Hebrew definition of the Messiah. A Messiah would have been a military and political leader, not an itinerant preacher. Someone more like Shimon Bar Kokhba, who actually organized the Jews and threw the Romans out of Jerusalem in 132 CE and held it until the Romans returned with a huge army and reconquered Palestine in 135 CE.

Interesting post!

 

One interesting fact is this mythical Jesus Christ character was supposed to be Jewish, yet the religion of Judaism does not believe Jesus Christ was the divine son of god--or that any messiah has come to earth to date.

 

Judaism claims that the messiah has yet to come.

 

The religious book of Judaism "The Tanakh"--ends with the last book of the Old Testament, and the books of the Christian Old Testament and Tanakh are basically, the same. Note: depending on the Christian sect (Catholic as an example), the books of the Old Testament are not exactly the same in all Christian religious books.

 

Tanakh of Judaism

http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Bible/jpstoc.html

 

Old Testament of Christianity

http://www.biblestudytools.com/books-of-the-bible/

 

Christianity is a radical break from Judaism with the New Testament essentially being about the central figure of Christianity--Jesus.

 

New Testament of Christianity

http://www.biblestudytools.com/books-of-the-bible/

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Religious Jokes for Wednesday

 

From:http://gatewaytojesus.com/index.html#menu

 

 

~A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

 

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

 

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

 

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

 

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

 

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

 

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

 

 

~Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

 

 

~Unleavened bread is bread made without ingredients.

 

 

~You can't fool the kids in Sunday school, they are way too smart...

 

'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?' I asked the children in my Sunday school class.

 

'NO!' all the children answered.

 

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?'

 

Again the answer was,'NO!'

 

'Well,'I continued,'then how can I get to heaven?'

 

A five-year-old boy shouted,'You gotta be dead!'

 

 

~A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, 'Ryan, you be Jesus.'

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The following news article is a disgrace--yet another reason why there should be separation of church and state.

 

The following news article is another reason why America needs to elect a democratic president in 2016. Social issues like same-sex marriage and LGBTQ civil rights, will be positively or negatively affected for the next 50 years--based on whether America has liberal or conservative U.S. Federal Judges, sitting on U.S. District (initial trial court), U.S.Circuit (appellate courts) and the U.S.Supreme Court.

 

News Article:

 

https://www.google.com/amp/www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-kaoma-uganda-gays-american-ministers-20140323-story,amp.html

 

...In recent years, millions of dollars have been funneled from anti-LGBTQ evangelical conservatives to Uganda, funding local pastors and training them to adopt and mirror the culture-war language of the U.S. Christian right. Bahati and a notorious anti-gay pastor, Martin Ssempa, were personally mentored by U.S. conservatives. And powerful Christian right organizations such as the Family Research Council lobbied Congress to change a resolution denouncing the Uganda legislation.

 

Other prominent right-wing evangelicals have also made Uganda appearances, including California's Rick Warren and Lou Engle, who founded TheCall ministry. They met with politicians, hosted rallies and public meetings, and used their influence and credibility to contribute to a culture war in Uganda much more intense and explosive than anything seen in the United States; Lively himself described the work as a "nuclear bomb" in Uganda. These conservative evangelicals later distanced themselves from the law, saying they didn't think homosexuality should be criminalized, but it was too late...

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From the article:

 

Archaeologist at Jesus' tomb site: "What was found is astonishing"

 

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/archaeologist-at-jesus-tomb-site-what-was-found-is-astonishing/

 

What is astonishing is examining a site based on hearsay, gossip and scuttlebutt, and trying to pass it off as historical accuracy and credible anthropological evidence.

 

There is no credible historical or anthropological evidence that proves that any Christian Messiah/Son of God, named Jesus ever existed.

 

Have to give zealot Christian believing historians and anthropologists credit, for their never-ending quest to prove the existence of Jesus.

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Nine Religious Jokes for a Wednesday Hump Day

 

 

*If God is everywhere always...

 

Then he's spending a lot of time watching porn and hanging out in strip joints.

 

 

*Abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers.

 

 

*Why does everyone pray in the aftermath of a disaster?

 

Hasn't God just proved He doesn't give a damn?

 

 

*Don't forget: If you never sin, Jesus died for nothing.

 

 

*Why is it that when you talk to God, its called praying?

 

Whenever God talks to me, they call it schizophrenia.

 

 

*According to the Bible, God killed 2,391,421 people and Satan only killed 10.

 

Anyone else think we might be following the wrong guy?

 

 

*What does God call his nose?

 

God knows.

 

 

*Science flies people to the moon.

 

Religion flies people into buildings.

 

 

*How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?

 

None. They just sit in the dark and demand you accept that the light is still on.

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Cracked Pea-Brained Prophet Yang, Predicts God Will Allow Donald Trump To Become President.

 

http://religionnews.com/2016/11/07/prophet-yang-prophesied-election-result-god-chose-donald-trump-for-president/

 

...Since October 17, Prophet Yang has been prophesying Trump victory. Prophet Yang foretold God chose Trump to be the next president of America, and prophesied Trump will win. Prophet Yang said, This is the official prophecy on the 2016 presidential election result that Democratic nominee Hilary Clinton will lose, and Republican nominee Donald Trump will win...

 

...This is the will of God, and the Lord speaks through me to declare Donald Trump is chosen to be the next American president. Listen to God, all American people!...

 

*Critique:

 

Prophet "Yang" can stick the following up his "Ying."

 

Since God in the Book of Genesis, does not know a bat is not a bird, and the moon is not a created light, but a celestial body that reflects the light of the sun...

 

...then God in keeping with (the above mentioned) and other numerous errors in the Bible, will once again prove to be in error, as Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton wins tomorrow night, and becomes the 45th President of the United States.

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