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The Old Fart Was Smart

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A trout masked replica, I think it drove genius in pursuit of the unorthodox. Frank Zappa was my hero little did I know how creative he was.


The Old Fart Was Smart


Pappy with the Khaki sweatband


Bowed goat potbellied barnyard


The old fart was smart


The old fart was smart


The old gold cloth madonna


Dancin' t' the fiddle 'n saw


He ran down behind the knoll


'n slipped on his wooden fishhead


The mouth worked 'n snapped all the bees



Back t' the bungalow


Momma was flatten'n lard


With her red enamel rollin' pen


When the fishhead broke the window


Rubber eye erect 'n precisely detailed


Airholes from which breath should come


Is now closely fit


With the chatter of the old fart inside



An assortment of observations took place


Mommas licked 'er lips like uh cat


Pecked the ground like uh rooster


Pivoted like uh duck


Her stockings down caught dust 'n doughballs


She cracked er mouth glaze caught one eyelash


Rubbed 'er hands on 'er gorgeous gingham



Her hand grasped sticky metal intricate latchwork-


Open t' the room uh smell cold mixed with bologna


Rubber bands crumpled wax paper bonnets


Fat goose legs 'n special jellies


Ignited by the warmth of the room


The old fart smelled this thru his important breather holes


Cleverly he dialed from within from the outside we observed


That the nose of the wooden mask


Where the holes had just been uh moment ago


Was now smooth amazingly blended camouflaged in


With the very intricate rainbow trout replica



The old fart inside was now breathin' freely from his perfume


bottle atomizer air bulb invention His excited eyes from within


the dark interior glazed Watered in appreciation of his


thoughtful preparation



I did not read this, I did not hear it, it was played on a record player, and

I was too high to listen closely.


It was brazen it was bold, it was Charles Bukowski who was enterprising left out in the cold dark, dank, but

not rebellious, too swift for that, said Frank.


Now a trout is a fish, and a masked replica is so hard to think up, without genius.


Vietnam was now once when I was a kid, WWII was my father's true deal. Broken stuff, entities and lack of details, the mother of all inventions were all the only things I had to hold onto once.



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