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Dung, Piss And God

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Which of the following delicacies did people of the Bible dine on?

 

“But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you” (Isaiah 36:12)?

 

God ordered His followers to make their bread with excrement?

 

Correct Answer: C (God preferred they bake it with human feces, but when they complained, He allowed them to substitute cow patties.) “And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man...Then said I, Ah, Lord God, behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself...Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith” (Ezekiel 4:12-15).

 

Did God order his early followers to honor Him with animal dung?

 

(Yes. Before Jesus, people atoned for their sins by sacrificing animals and their dung to God. (But only if they burned the dung outside town.)) “But the flesh of the bullock, and his skin, and his dung, shalt thou burn with fire without the camp: it is a sin offering” (Exodus 29:14). And the bullock for the sin offering, and the goat for the sin offering, whose blood was brought in to make atonement in the holy place, shall one carry forth without the camp; and they shall burn in the fire their skins, and their flesh, and their dung” (Leviticus 16:27).

 

How did the Samarians survive famine?

 

“And there was a great famine in Samaria: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver. And as the king of Israel was passing by upon the wall, there cried a woman unto him, saying, Help, my lord, O king. And he said, If the Lord do not help thee, whence shall I help thee? out of the barnfloor, or out of the winepress? And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son to morrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him” (2 Kings 6:25-29). (Note: A “cab” equals approximately a quart.)

 

How did God punish early sinners with dung?

 

(He treated them like dogs, smearing feces on their faces.”) “If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the Lord of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart. Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it” (Malachi 2:2-3).

 

Why did God require His early followers to attach a paddle to their weapons?

 

(So they could cover up the human poop lying around the camp, in case God happened to walk through.) “And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee: For the Lord thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp” (Deuteronomy 23:13-14).

 

What fate does God plan for the former inhabitants of Jerusalem?

 

(What is left of their decaying bodies will cover the Earth, never to be buried, and serve as fertilizer for the land, much like dung.) “At that time, saith the Lord, they shall bring out...the bones of the inhabitants of Jerusalem, out of their graves: And they shall spread them before the sun, and the moon, and all the host of heaven...whom they have worshipped: they shall not be gathered, nor be buried; they shall be for dung upon the face of the earth” (Jeremiah 8:1-2).

 

In a single passage, how does the Bible say God will handle sinners?

 

“And I will bring distress upon men, that they shall walk like blind men, because they have sinned against the Lord: and their blood shall be poured out as dust, and their flesh as the dung” (Zephaniah 1:17).

 

What did God decide should happen to Jezebel, after she was violently murdered?

 

“[Jehu] said, This is the word of the Lord, which he spake by his servant Elijah the Tishbite, saying, In the portion of Jezreel shall dogs eat the flesh of Jezebel: And the carcase of Jezebel shall be as dung upon the face of the field” (2 Kings 9:36-37).

 

To a True Christian®, what is the equivalent of dung?

 

(Everything in the world other than knowledge of Jesus, including all other loving relationships.) “Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ” (Philippians 3:8).

 

God is dung.

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Genesis 6

 

1And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,

 

2That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.

 

3And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.

 

4There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.

 

5And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

 

6And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

 

7And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

 

8But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.

 

9These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.

 

10And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

 

11The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.

 

12And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.

 

13And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.

 

14Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

 

15And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

 

16A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.

 

17And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.

 

18But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons' wives with thee.

 

19And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.

 

20Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.

 

21And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.

 

22Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.

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Which of the following delicacies did people of the Bible dine on?

 

 

 

Oh - another posting - but you still haven't answered my question: Did you purposely misquote John 10:8 to fit your petty agenda, or did you accidentally mistake the meaning of a very simple verse (and who knows how many countless others)?? hmmm? I didn't hear you - which is it?

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Oh - another posting - but you still haven't answered my question: Did you purposely misquote John 10:8 to fit your petty agenda, or did you accidentally mistake the meaning of a very simple verse (and who knows how many countless others)?? hmmm? I didn't hear you - which is it?

 

The Bible expained it all Kunt and you took it out of context.

 

You need to learn the Bible kunt. Here is a Bible quiz:

 

1. In the Bible, does God kill people? (Hint: Exodus 12:29-30, I Samuel 6:19, II Chronicles 14:12)

 

Yes

No

Only Satan slaughters people

Only bad people slaughter others

 

2. According to the Bible, who creates evil? (Hint: Isaiah 45:7)

 

 

Satan

Humans

The Lord God

Rich people

 

3. Would God ever do such a thing as spread feces on his creations? (Hint: Malachi 2:3)

 

Of course not

Yes

Only Satan does such things

I feel sick

 

4. When the characters in the Bible did not obey God's commands, what are some of the punishments God performed? (Hint: Deut. 28:27; Psalm 68:21-23; Deut. 12:2-3; II Chronicles 21:14-15; I Chron. 21:12)

 

Gave hemorrhoids, gave head wounds, utterly destroyed people

Gave bowel diseases & plagues, sent pestilence

All of the above

None of the above

 

5. Does the Bible say you should feel happy to kill certain infants by dashing them against the rocks? (Hint: Psalm 137:9)

 

Yes

No

I feel happy

I do not feel happy

 

6. Why does the Bible mention the eating of dung and drinking of piss? (II Kings 18:27, KJV)

 

Because eating it would add to our godly health

Another punishment by God

All the inspired words of God represent love and goodness

The Bible doesn't explain

 

7. If you wish to become a disciple of Jesus, you must first: (Hint: Luke 14:26)

 

Hate your father and mother

Hate your brothers and sisters

All of the above

None of the above

 

8. What creatures below does the Bible mention?

 

Gorillas

Dolphins

Elephants

Unicorns

 

9. According to the Bible, what can certain animals do?

 

Donkeys can talk

Snakes can talk

All of the above

None of the above

 

10. According to 1 Genesis, which was created first?

 

Days and nights

Sun, moon

Greater light and lesser light

Stars

 

Here is John 10:8 you lying KUNT!

 

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

 

8 All who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. Now STFU KUNT and stop your filthy Christly lies.

 

God eats dung! :lol:

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The Bible expained it all Kunt and you took it out of context.

 

Since I have already proven you to be a liar who takes partial verses out of context (even though you continue to ignore that fact) or misunderstands even the simplest of verses (and therefore are an idiot) I would be a fool to entertain anything you have to say.

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Since I have already proven you to be a liar who takes partial verses out of context (even though you continue to ignore that fact) or misunderstands even the simplest of verses (and therefore are an idiot) I would be a fool to entertain anything you have to say.

 

Here is something I know is true liar. I can find out where you live. I have the software to hack this forum get your IP and locate your address. Keep that in mind next time you lie about me. I use a proxy server so I am invisible. You don't. Ask your self this, Is it worth the risk of pissing me off. You never know who you might be {banned word} with. :ninja:

 

I can find out if the pic in your avatar is you. I think a public apology from you is in order.

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Here is something I know is true liar. I can find out where you live. I have the software to hack this forum get your IP and locate your address. Keep that in mind next time you lie about me. I use a proxy server so I am invisible. You don't. Ask your self this, Is it worth the risk of pissing me off. You never know who you might be {banned word} with. :ninja:

 

I can find out if the pic in your avatar is you. I think a public apology from you is in order.

 

Haha. I know this is old but it's awesome :lol: Love it!

 

God spent the first few books of the Bible wiping out large numbers of people. The dung and piss thing is gross but hardly his worst crime.

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