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SPLIB

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  1. SPLIB

    Jewish holiday, Purim

    I am perplexed that you would think complexity mitigates more against design than it does against chance. Functionality in that face of complexity veritably yells design at the top of its lungs - and speaking of lungs, they seem designed.
  2. SPLIB

    Jewish holiday, Purim

    The decisions one should make with one's gut are at the level of instinct - "Go! Now!" - that sort of thing. The reason most of us listen to that voice is that those who don't were weeded out. The gut KNOWS, the brain thinks. If you think with your gut, or know with your brain, you're incorrect. The brain's job is to proceed upon assumptions, always open to abandon those assumptions if evidence for that avails. For this reason, the brain never truly "knows." The brain that "knows" is closed. The gut that "thinks" does not exist - thanks, evolution. As to all of this being a function of chance, I generally don't dispute faith based utterances. But I will make an exception, this time: I procede upon the assumption that the earth and consciousness are in fact products of design, though I make no claim of knowledge as to the designer. And I say assumption, rather than suspicion, because I find the evidence of deliberate design rather stronger than what might justify a mere hunch.
  3. SPLIB

    Jewish holiday, Purim

    It was in Agada Davida, baby. I agree that one does not gain height by shortening others (save relatively), but I defy you to deny that heels can't do the job, if only temporarily. And speaking of things temporal, we must suffer because we are in hell - or at least, hell's waiting room. When our table opens in Bogota, we'll get to Hades proper. Which for some reason brings to mind Splib's First Dictum: The earth is a spinning ball of sh!t, and all is corruption. The earth is designed to make fossils of the things it makes - integrate and exude, integrate again and exude again, using each re-integration to fuel the next diffusion. People observe and insist that "things" are "changing;" but the only proper read of events is that change - the one constant - is endlessly thinging. The earth is DESIGNED to turn everything into sh!t, and then turn sh!t into everything. That is why, when you observe that 90% of books, movies, friendships, restaurants, politics - everything, - is sh!t, this observation should put you at ease, knowing that things are NOT changing. Change is thinging - and thinging, and thinging, and thinging. That is how things you never heard of suddenly become a thing. The earth things them into exitence, and will reintegrate them in its time, as it will us. And that is Splib's First Dictum - a modest attempt by a man of moderate intellect to make sense of the world into which he was born. As to the lunar visitation, I was speaking tongue in cheek. I proclaim ignorance of whether we indeed visited the moon. I know we bombed it. Trusting Bush's manifest intellect and decency, I assume the moon deserved it. But whether we travelled there or staged it, I can only guess, since I did not directly observe it. For that matter, had I directly observed it, I would still be open to the idea that we never went there, since I also directly observed David Copperfield pulling a car out of his ass in a Las Vegas casino. The difference between me and any ordinary witness of good faith is that I know how untrustworthy my best and most rigorous testimony is, and the average sworn witness is deluded to think he apprehends reality. Our tiny brains are utterly beneath the task of living well. This goes as well for the Ashkenazi as it does for the Sub-Saharan African (and I hope you see what I did there). Once one accepts this, one is faced with the irrational option of surrender, or the rational option of reinvesting one's respect in the value of one's gut and heart - those other hosts of the sort of ganglia and neural pathways which by some mechanism give rise to cogitation. Splib's Second Theorum is that the brain thinks - and all of its thoughts are fleeting, because it forever gains new information against which to process previous judgments, which data it then uses to think again - and again, and again. That is why fashions change. That is why consensus reality shifts. That is why new laws are made and old ones struck down. That is why we had legal slavery, and don't. The heart and the gut are more constant than the ever changing, ever chauvinist brain. They are not hyperkinetic.They don't second guess. When the gut (rarely) speaks, it does so authoritatively - often as if life and death are in the balance. When the heart speaks, it speaks with one mind, in terms that not only define the issue, but the self. If a man would know himself, he must cease to think for some time, taming and putting in its place the noisy mind, teaching it to share and to listen. To be alive from the neck up is common. To be alive from the crown down requires integrating our three centers of intellect, such that they interact respectfully and automatically - the heart never taking on math and the brain never denying the gut's command to flee, even in the seeming absence of any detectable threat. When heart. mind and gut are in one accord, a man is ready to be civilized. Until then, you have to use the stick. And those two dictums are my only ones, so I hope you liked them. I spent a lot of time formulating those. My original dictums were, "Whatever makes you puke is bad," and "Women don't fart - all they eat is salad." Neither of those panned out. I hadda use Ipecac to get the cloying odor of my wife's bowel off my palate, destroying two dictums in a single desperate, but educational, purge.
  4. SPLIB

    Jewish holiday, Purim

    One of my personal facts is that we didn't go to the moon. As I understand it, thers have stolen my fact ad resented it as their own. Don't believe them. When they say it, it's wrong.
  5. SPLIB

    Jewish holiday, Purim

    Only once a day if it's a military clock. They be all "forteen hundred hours" and sh!t. Forteen means two. How dat work?
  6. SPLIB

    Jewish holiday, Purim

    See, I was just going with my gut and my anecdotal observations - Jews are bad with hats But you got all facty - that's your arena. I'm glad that I could demonstrate in this thread that actually knowing stuff is not required n order to be right. It helps, I'll grant you that. But one CAN be unforgiveably ignorant, and still turn an at-bat into a run (for my Jewish friends, that means every schlemiel has his day in the sun).
  7. SPLIB

    Jewish holiday, Purim

    You will learn far more from me about Jews and Jewishness, as your facts are available everywhere, but mine come only from me. Allow me to elucidate. Your people are good with money, but bad with hats. In fact, your are less than one percent of all humanity, yet you have fashioned amongst yourselves the three stupidest hats ever made. Now, the good with money part, I won't spend time arguing Thats an established fact, making it your department. But the fact that Jews are lousy with hats - this is less widely known (basically, known only to me and the people who can't avoid me). Your history with bad hat-making involves circumcision, and a guy named Morty, whose wife was named Ethyl. Morty holds the Guinness record for creating the second stupidest hat of all of human history - a proud, albeit little heralded, Jewish tradition. But first, let's discuss the quaker oats hat. This is the world's THIRD stupidest hat, the hat worn by those Jews with the hygeine issues - they have full, unkempt beards, and just in CASE anyone misses the damned birds nests preceeding their entrance, they have simulated beards in the form of a long, curled strand of hair that hangs under their faces. Back up beards, basically. And that hat? That quaker oats hat? You can grab the brim, give the crown a firm pop with your free hand, and you're holding a frisby. This group of Jews sends its children to first grade with simulated facial hair and a toy on their heads, and wonders why they need analysis when they grow up. Meshugah, meshugas, meeshuguner, meshugenah. Then there was the circumcision, about which morty opined to his wife, "Well, that was NOT fun, Ethyl. That was NOT fun. But it's over. God is satisfied. No more tricks like he played on poor Abraham (Not to mention poor Isaac, the father of modern I need analysis). No more crazy demands, no more blowing up cities, no more fighting armies of giants - God is happy, the Jewish people are happy - all is well in the world, Ethyl. No more demands from on high. Where's my evening paper?" Ethyl, knowing Morty, broached the next topic breezily - but to no avail. Morty got his neck famously stiff - the old stiff necked Jew routine (your department - no argument offered). "There is one teeny, tiny, thing, Morty. It's a whole bunch of nothing, really. The Rabbi says that God says that you need to wear a hat. All the time." Morty blew his stack. "The doily, Ethyl - give me the doily. GIVE IT, ETHYL!" And Morty put that doily on his head, and with an air of finality and angry defiance, an air of passive aggression, he said, "There ya go, God - it's a hat. It used to be a doily, but now it's a hat." And that is how the world's SECOND stupidest hat became a thing - a thing that has to be velcroed and/or stapled and/or glued to your stubborn pates. The Jews are a stiff necked people, who should be approached very carefully regarding changes to their headgear. And they are truly bad with hats. And now, we will address the absolute most ridiculous hat of all time, made also by the Jews, and this is the hat which your people made for Jesus, out of thorns. REALLY, laripu, THORNS? You couldn't come up with some other material - felt, maybe? If you are going to hand-make a gift - and I say this to Jews everywhere; this is not only a message to you, personally, laripu, - if you are going to hand-make a gift, go with your strong suit - not with yet another ill-fated adventure in Jewish hat-making. You could have given Jesus a menorah - you're good with menorahs. A dradle, maybe - or maybe some sheckles. You guys are literally famous for being good with sheckles. But no. Yous hadda go with your weakest suit. And I know what you are thinking, my stiff necked friend - I can hear you thinking it: We didn't kill Jesus, the Romans killed Jesus." Let me just say this to that, laripu: You made the fukking hat, my firend. You made the fukking hat. Jews - you're good with money. You're bad with hats.
  8. SPLIB

    Jewish holiday, Purim

    They do everythng in a hat. A doily. A hat. A doily. Mashuguna!
  9. I won't miss the repukes any more than I will miss the dissemblecrats, who will go the way of the do do without repukes around to threaten you morons with.
  10. All those spending cuts republicans mke when they control both houses of congress and the white house - that'll save us. Everyone knows republicans are fiscal hawks - If ya don't believe me, ask the shrub. He only DOUBLED the debt. Reagan trippled it.
  11. Life's programmer made life corrubpible. In fact, we live on corruption.. No manure, no farm. No rot, no taste. The difference between a nice camembert or stilton, and some crap fit only to grill between bread slices, is corruption. The earth is a spinning ball of 90% feces, and everything on it follows the 90% rule. 90% of coffee houses, restaurants and relationships are pure shiit. 90% of EVERYTHING is shiit. The key is to look for the good stuff, smell the roses, and die owing someone you don't like money.
  12. Looks like ANOTHER trump promise kept - to make lying journalists financially accountable. MAGA! Tired of winning yet?
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