The left lies about the wage gap because they sold out most of their moral positions from the 90's onward (peace, civil liberties, among others). They have to pretend they are moral still, so they cling to old victories from the 60's. They have to claim they stand up against racism while supporting racist murderers like Hillary Clinton. I figured it out years ago, but the liberals I knew didn’t listen to me. I saw the right-wing gaining in strength, and the reasons why. But the liberals just had to win the election, so they voted for the guy who voted to provide the funds to murder people in the Middle East: Barack Obama. Bush asked for the money – Obama voted “Yes.”
And then they wondered where this orange, racist monster came from.
They helped create it. They voted for candidates who backed policies that helped create the so-called “problems” the Nationalists promised to fix. That’s why I don’t talk politics. I’m a misunderstood humanitarian.
Try explaining that to a normal woman like Laura. She wouldn’t know what the fuck I was talking about.
Fast forward a bit and suddenly women I’m trying to socialize with are accusing me of having “straight-white-male-privilege.”
I have no idea what that means. Just because you’re white doesn’t mean you don’t sometimes get treated like a Packie. All that talk of privilege is bigotry, another concept the left seems to miss when dealing with its own internal logic. Labeling “white males” the enemy kind of makes it hard for intelligent white men, even those who agree with you, to speak up for your cause and beliefs. It’s like the entire left wing of the United States missed the third grade lesson about Martin Luther King Jr. and what he taught: it isn’t the color of someone’s skin that matters – it is the content of their character. Being a white male doesn’t mean you have privilege above the average person – it simply doesn’t. By arguing that white males in general have “privilege” is to throw white males with high character but little to no social privilege out the window and under the bus. But jeez, you’d think I’d be used to being treated like I don’t exist by privileged, white females, being ugly and all.
I remember the days when it was rich, white men who were responsible for all the world’s problems. But somewhere between the new-wave feminist and “Birther” movements, I became Public Enemy #1. My only guess was that after the Occupy Wall Street protesters threw a pathetic shit fit about money, or whatever it was they were upset about, the Left and Americans in general realized they weren’t going to get any of their blood money from the banks or corporations. The rhetoric was going to have to be aimed at an easier target – someone like me. Think about it. I’m too drunk or high or sad to fight back, and I can’t change the fact that I’m a straight, white male.
People just need a scapegoat to bitch about, no matter what political party they belong to. For dipshit Republicans, it’s Muslims and Mexicans. And the Chinese, I suppose. For dipshit Democrats, it’s apparently poor, straight white men (post-Occupy). And I think that’s the problem with the world, with the country, in general. Just straight up bigotry. People can’t see it, or they don’t care. Hate begets hate, you can’t fight hate with hate – all that shit they say is true. So of course when the Donald Trump thing started to pick up steam (with a big part of his support coming from disenfranchised, white people who had been sold out by the system), something terrible happened.
I brought Melinda those tacos but I got a Super Burrito - there was no guacamole on it.
I thought it was a coincidence – at first. Oh, it’s just a couple of burritos in a row, I told myself after my burritos started coming up with little to no guacamole on a consistent basis. Later, I started telling myself that it was because of the avocado shortage, but at some point I noticed that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
I just couldn’t get any guacamole in a Super Burrito anymore.
And I can’t stress this enough, in case anyone ever comes to Sonoma County, but Mexican food used to be the best food around, at least for the price. What (used to be) standard, was this: for about seven or eight bucks a pop, you could get a burrito most people would not finish in one sitting with meat, rice, beans, cheese, sour cream, and avocado or guacamole and maybe some Pico de Gallo with a bag of chips and a container of salsa or two. But then Donald Trump came along, and suddenly there was no more guacamole. And it’s fine: if you want me to pay extra for avocado or guacamole, don’t say that shit comes on the goddamn burrito. I’ll gladly pay an extra dollar if you say it costs extra. But they kept the menus the same, and just started leaving the guacamole off. And that’s after they jacked up the price to eight or nine bucks.
I couldn’t believe it was happening, that every Taqueria I would go to would leave off the guacamole. But it kept happening, consistently. A couple of times I would return it and tell them, but the pattern became so depressing that I just basically had to quit eating Mexican food.
It made me sad and still does to this day. It seems that when I walk into Taquerias or place an order for burritos these days, I’m not going to get my guacamole, and if I get tacos they’re going to skimp me on the salsa - because of the color of my skin, and because of Donald Trump, which is racist as fuck, if you ask me. I wonder if I could try prefacing an order at a Mexican restaurant with a simple, “I didn’t vote for Trump, can you please leave the guacamole on my Super Burrito?” Or, when they don’t put any guacamole on it, maybe I should just straight up ask, “Is it because I’m white?”
But then, I would be the racist. And that’s something someone like Laura would immediately accuse me of. She was beautiful, just not overly logical.
What the fuck kind of world am I living in, when victims of racism are being accused of racism? Oh right, that’s happened throughout all of human history.
In fact, it wasn’t too long ago when Democrats aided the Bush regime in perpetrating a racist policy, namely the “War on Terror” – the invasions, occupations, and bombings of places like Iraq, Afghanistan, Yemen, Pakistan and so forth.
When 9/11 happened, Democrats rallied around the beloved President and his incompetence and inability to keep the nation safe on that day (Donald Trump pointed out to Jeb Bush in the South Carolina debate during primary season that his brother didn’t keep us safe: why the hell does America need Donald Trump of all people to point out what I had been thinking all along?), and went along with the bigotry against Muslims in the media. Many, many Democrats believed during the War in Iraq that the troops should not be withdrawn (John Kerry for example, which might be why he lost). I was firmly against the occupation and regarded it as a policy of racism and straight up murder. Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction and they were never a threat to the United States. The civilians who died were innocent, and Democrats are partially to blame. The victims of racism change throughout history, but it remains prevalent, sadly.
But throwing around the bigoted idea that straight, white men are to blame for the world’s problems is bigotry itself. You can’t fight bigotry with bigotry. Case in point, Donald Trump is president today.
And then the “Grab ‘em by the pussy” thing happened.
I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and saw somebody post a “Don’t Tread on Me” flag, the yellow one with the snake. “Don’t Tread on Me” had been replaced with the words, “Don’t Grab my Pussy.” I thought it was kind of funny – obviously you shouldn’t go around grabbing pussies at random. Then I realized, no, this isn’t just a clever meme. It came from somewhere. Something had happened.
Sipping on a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red and chasing it with cola, I did a quick internet search.
Sure enough, there it was: Donald Trump was picked up on microphone speaking to Billy Bush, claiming he grabs women by the pussy - he doesn’t “even wait.”
At that moment, scrolling through all of the reactions to what was either a funny joke told in private, or a true confession of sexual assault, I came to the conclusion that there was no way he could win. These “Social Justice Warriors” as they had become known were freaking out. There was no way someone perceived to be a rapist could be elected President.
Melinda was throwing a shit fit about it, and when I asked her if she thought he could’ve been joking, she told me, “It doesn’t matter – this is the ammunition we need to ensure this fascist doesn’t get elected.”
“Isn’t Hillary sort of a fascist too?”
She got angry, and started forming a militia of sorts with other people in the office (debates were breaking out among co-workers). The election was in about a week, and people were getting riled up. At one point, however, she wound up saying to me, “I think straight-white-males should just eat it.” Maybe Melinda wasn’t a humanitarian after all. I knew her ideology was bigger. I knew she was compassionate toward living beings that weren’t human, and I thought that was cool. Maybe she thought white guys like me were getting in the way of a bigger, more ethical agenda.
So I was faced with spending time with my Republican friends and being unhappy or spending time with my liberal friends and being accused of not being liberal enough or not liberal in the right way – if I wanted to talk politics. And everybody was talking politics. It was election season.
It was a lonely time, the election. I hadn’t changed – the world had. Consequently, I didn’t fit in with people anymore.
And then, Colin Kaepernick came along, or grew up, or something. He stopped posting pictures on Instagram of all his cars and his mansion and became political. In an interview in the locker room, Kaepernick was recorded on video correctly describing both major candidates – Hillary Clinton, and Trump – as racists. He pointed to a comment Clinton made in the 90’s, labeling urban youths, a large number of which are black as “super predators.” Kaepernick wasn’t the only one to point this out. An activist named Michelle Williams crashed a Clinton campaign rally, asking her to apologize for, well you know, being a piece of shit racist. Clinton later apologized in the Washington Post. And that’s before you get into her support for NAFTA and the removal of millions of Mexican farmers from their own land (racism) and her yes vote on the Iraq war and its funding (racism).
So there I was, surrounded by women who were supporting a racist for President and who were now claiming that I, based on my gender, skin color, and sexual orientation, was the problem. I wanted to crawl into a hole, and I did. I stopped hanging out with people and started watching football.
During the Iraq war, I was in high school. I made it a point to sit down for the Pledge of Allegiance every morning to protest the war, and some other kids in school followed suit (Melinda was one of those other students, ironically enough). So naturally, I thought it was a great idea when Colin Kaepernick refused to stand for the National Anthem, with his cause for action (or inaction?) being fighting against racism, such as cops targeting black people and sometimes even murdering them in cold blood. There I was, surrounded by nihilistic dipshits with no understanding of even the most basic and recent history and not being able to apply it to something as simple as a Presidential election, so I figured the best course of action/inaction was to quit trying to talk to people and just watch the game every Sunday. It was something to look forward to. And Blaine Gabbert, I knew was a horrible quarterback, so it was only a matter of time before Kaepernick got the starting job, National Anthem controversy or not.
Being the poor, straight, white male that I am, of course I didn’t own a television or have access to one in my own house. At some point, when it comes to coughing up dough for the cable, there’s no benefit to watching Rachel Maddow and Glenn Beck sling lies and hate speech. And I certainly didn’t want to watch Larry Whitmore tell unfunny jokes and come out in support of Muslims over a decade too late. They didn’t say anything when Obama was dropping bombs on Libya, or when he extended $30 billion in aid over the course of a decade to Israel to the disadvantage of the Palestinians. Like Lowkey’s song “Obamanation Part 2” goes in the refrain, “Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist, Gaza Strip was getting bombed, Obama didn’t say shit.”
Point being, I was going to have to go over to my parents’ to watch the games. I missed some, preferring to stay inside my hole of a room and drink on some Sundays. But then things started to go well for Kaepernick – his game was improving after recovering from off-season surgery, despite the dipshits surrounding him in the front office, in the coaching staff, on the field. And then the Bears game came up on the schedule, and the Bears were horrible. It was a game the Niners had a chance to win - I wasn’t going to miss it. I would have to wait a bit, till after the election, though. But at that time in my life, as superficial as it sounds, I didn’t want to talk to other people. I just wanted to watch Colin Kaepernick succeed. He wasn’t necessarily saying or focusing on the same things I would have, but he made a lot of sense. In a world of nihilistic morons, Kaepernick’s attempt to speak out for social justice was the only thing worth watching, and talking to people, including women, was unfortunately out of the question for me.
Annie had walked out on me, I missed my shot with Laura, I was avoiding my Republican friends and roommates due to the election talk, and my friend Melinda had turned against me. I tried explaining to her that she had just grabbed me by the dick weeks prior to the “grab ‘em by the pussy” scandal and that she was therefore acting like a hypocrite, but she went crazy on me and starting yelling. I have been grabbed by the dick several times in my life – all by liberals, ironically enough. But it’s the same shit, different day. It’s hard to feel safe and secure in a society that sacrifices outsiders, that profits off the exploitation of the Third World. It’s hard to feel like the people around you have moral credibility when they basically tell you to your face that health care is more important than human lives in foreign countries, which is what the attitude the Obama campaign, Presidency and legacy kind of represents. I couldn’t wait for the election to be over, for Hillary Clinton to be president, and for everybody around me to calm the fuck down. If they didn’t realize and would never realize that “politics” itself is a death-cult because the leadership of both parties advocate for a murderous foreign policy, that many of their arguments were logically flawed, that many of their positions were hypocritical, well, I wasn’t in the mood to talk much. I just wanted to drink.