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Everything posted by wiseraphael

  1. As you know by know I'm a brit...I visit your wonderful country two or three times a year as our son works for an American company and lives in the States. I love it. But....I and everyone else in every other first world country, particularly Europe, cannot for the life of us understand why the richest and most powerful country in the world...and the kindest...has such a goddam awful health service (excuse my language.) Actually I'm wrong...you don't have any kind of health service. May I bore you and give you two examples of my wife and myself.... I am diabetic..I was diagnosed some 11 years ago. All my medication...insulin, needles, testing equipment etc is provided by our National health service...free of charge. I get three monthly checkups..HBa1c tests. I get six monthly full checkups....blood tests, circulation tests, heart check-ups, cholesterol checks, insulin reserve tests, services of a dietician etc etc etc ...all free on the NHS. There is a specialist diabetic centre at our local small -town hospital...I can phone them and get advice, or go there, any time 24/7. All free. My wife had a routine mammogram a year ago...all women in the UK are entitled to an annual mammogram. She was found to have extensive cancer in both breasts, luckily not too far advanced to be fatal if action was taken. She chose to have a double mastectomy. This was done the day after the biopsy report came back, which was only a couple of days after the mammogram result. She is now undergoing chemo therapy. Again she has a 24/7 help line and constant attention from our doctor, health visitors and the specialist nurses and oncologists at the hospital. The attention and care couldn't be better...and this is not one of the great London hospitals, just a small coastal town's hospital. There was never any question of any payment. We have socialised medicine, which by the way has nothing whatsoever to do with "socialism". The same is true of all European countries...the systems may vary but the results are the same. Can it be a coincidence that the life expectancy of Europeans is higher than that of the States? Health is a basic human right...for people to make profit out of it cannot be right.
  2. I'm putting this on the Liberal forum as the right wingers have no sense of humour! They'll probably take it seriously! Cheers from the UK! To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). ------------------------ 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' ------------------- 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. ----------------- 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse. ---------------------- 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. ---------------------- 6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the liberal side side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. -------------------- 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. ------------------- 8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. ------------------- 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. --------------------- 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. --------------------- 11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). --------------------- 12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries. -------------------- 13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. ----------------- 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). --------------- 15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season. God Save the Queen! PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor).
  3. I think....Islam (same root as "Shalom") is a monotheistic religion, based on Judaism, that however reflects the particular culture of its founders and early adherents. However, whatever else it is, it is not a religion of peace. How many hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, did Mohammed slaughter in his own version of the Crusades? Not to mention Iraq, where Sunni and Shia are gaily murdering each other in the tens of thousands. Turkey, where Turkish Moslems are bombing Kurdish Moslems...and the Kurds are returning the compliment! Nigeria, where Moslems have a habit of burning Christian churches with people still inside. Could go on...and on...and on. Islam is no different in peacefulness to any other religion, despite its name. No religion that I know of has been particularly peaceful, possibly apart from Buddhism which is more of a Philosophy than a religion.
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